Profile avatar
thomashowardriley.bsky.social
author of rated-R fantasy sagas | cat whisperer | father of 2 tiny superheroes | history nerd | guitarist | swordfighter | evil wizard | lover of chonky books | notorious car radio singalong extraordinaire thomashowardriley.com
324 posts 174 followers 220 following
Prolific Poster
Conversation Starter

The fact that people read books I have written and actually like them will never stop being amazing to me.

I love it when authors or readers DM me about literally anything, yet somehow I still feel like me DMing someone else is a horrendous violation of their privacy and I should avoid it at all costs unless absolutely necessary

I should never have taught my 4yr old the word “exsanguinated”

In case this whole writing thing doesn’t work out, my backup plan is to tear down the wall in my backyard every night & rebuild it 1/4 inch closer to my neighbors’ houses until I eventually claim their entire properties Then just keep scaling up from there until I own the galaxy

Do you prefer a dramatis personae section at the beginning of a book or at the end? I’ve never put one in one of my books before but my next 2 epic tomes I think will definitely be needing one.

I don’t know if this is just me but what I want my characters to do ≠ what my characters actually decide to do once the writing starts

I don’t always have the DRIPPING BUCKET in my books, but when I do it is definitely in The Monsters We Feed

It may or not be obvious I have adhd I medicate with nothing but wacky life hacks and the radiant remnants of rage over the last thing I failed to complete on time It means I have to read 5-10 books at once It also invariably results in me trying to write 5-10 books at once

*the author, forgetting much of what he wrote in The Monsters We Feed* “Is there really that much profanity?” *the author, finding the below passages two paragraphs apart* “Well, sh*t” *the author, wondering how many of the swears are just main character thought bubbles*

There is something creeping up behind you.

friend: “not everyone needs to see pictures of your cats, Thomas” me: “yeah you’re probably right.” *friend leaves* me: “f*ck you yes they do everyone needs to see pictures of my cats”

I am a dad, so I will always, always, always be down to talk about the weather at length for no reason.

Author math: I had a book with 400,000 words I cut out 120,000 words to spin off into a separate book I cut out another 70,000 words to spin off into a separate book I editing out another 40,000 entirely The book is now 450,000 words long

I can’t very well sign books without my trusty book signing gauntlets

I think I am a pretty dialogue-heavy author. I really like developing ideas, relationships, and conflicts by way of banter, whether conversations be friendly or hostile. I do this for 2 reasons: 1) I just love it 2) I notice as a reader I am less likely to skim over dialogue

Our 2yr old wandered off for a while and when I tracked her down she had apparently gone to her bookshelf in the other room and pulled each book off the shelf and then passed out surrounded by open half-finished books. My child.

I have developed a callous on my thumb specifically from having to plug the charger cord into my phone 8,000 times in order to get it at the exact right angle to make it work

There are fantasy nerds and then there are people who have read the appendices at the end of Return of the King more times than they’ve read the actual book. I am the second one.

Penelope accepts your submissions of glorious animal companions. Winners are @therebelgm.bsky.social and @mfvoss.bsky.social I hope you enjoy your copies!

I love writing so damn much the only thing that I dislike about it is that I don’t have more time to do it.

How much is too much when it comes to easter eggs connecting one of your books to another? I run the gamut from shared side characters & world events to a sex scene in one book being the moment another book’s character is conceived Where is the line & have I already crossed it?

The wonderful sensical world of an indie author: I have three upcoming books The one that’s finished being written still needs a cover The ones with finished covers aren’t done being written 🤦‍♂️

Some very astute individuals noticed a couple of easter eggs within the front matter of physical copies of The Last Gasp Of Midnight 👀

I don’t talk about this book enough The Light Of Kasaban is my hidden gem—dark, tragic, hopeful, and horrifying 206 pages 66,000 words 1 protagonist 5 megatons of emotional demolition

You could always simplify your story by making less characters, Thomas True. But then I wouldn’t have as many of them to kill. And really what else is the point of all this?

Sometimes you only discover the heart of your story while revising it When I finished writing The Monsters We Feed I realized it was missing something to make the story arc whole It led to the addition of a whole new story layer, inventing a new character & adding 14 scenes

It’s not easy to look the other way when a tough rating or review rolls in but it must be done, for your sanity as well as your image It may seem hard at first, but ignoring these things is a skill unto itself, and if you practice you will get better at it

How many people did Jason Voorhees kill in Friday the 13th? None. His mom did all the hard work for him while he was sitting on his lazy ass at the bottom of a lake Today and every day we should celebrate how much our moms do for us We do not deserve them Happy Mothers Day!

My 4yr old little warrior, to me: “daddy, I love you, because even though you’re fat, you are still really strong”

After four consecutive weekends of being maimed doing this landscaping madness I am contemplating a book about a war for survival against a giant carnivorous tree

Reading my favorite childhood SFF book with my little ones. The 13 Clocks never fails with the absurdist character descriptions: “I am the Golux,” said the Golux. “And not a mere device. (…) I resemble only half the things I say I don’t. The other half resemble me.”

I really want to get these books out but I’ve been told I actually have to finish writing them before I can publish them I’m not sure if that is correct, but it would certainly explain some things

When the one and only THOMAS HOWARD RILEY blurbs your debut novel! Huge thanks to @thomashowardriley.bsky.social! 2 weeks until release day! 99c pre-order: books2read.com/perils

Appreciate your beta readers! Even though accepting their feedback can be painful at times 😂 We could not do this without them