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timothycsimons.bsky.social
Actor. Golfer. Doesn't like cocaine but likes songs about cocaine. https://linktr.ee/timothycsimons
359 posts 11,368 followers 137 following
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Posts 37 Comments 11

Yes I understand this bill is deeply regressive and unpopular, but there's no way it doesn't pass. And all of the bad shit will be blamed on democrats, so there will be no repercussions. Cool time we live in.

submitted 22 hours ago • 2 comments

Benson Loone

submitted 5 days ago • 3 comments

The husk of @bradleywhitford.bsky.social joins the Second in Command podcast. Out today. www.patreon.com/posts/132161...

submitted 6 days ago • 1 comment

Have a great time at the World Cup! Remember an unidentified masked person can grab you at anytime and send you to a foreign gulag and you will have no chance to defend yourself! Anyway buy a ticket!

submitted 6 days ago • 26 comments

Lol lmao

submitted 7 days ago • 3 comments

“Least of all the HORSE.”

submitted 12 days ago • 1 comment

Shout out to those who serve. Y'all deserve better than to be used by a Walking Circus Peanut with bone spurs and whatnot.

submitted 15 days ago • 11 comments

wearing a service ribbon that signifies i was at the battle of the grove

submitted 20 days ago • 9 comments

In the failed state of California in the overrun city of Los Angeles today I drove my mom to the airport, got some coffee with a friend, got the kids from school and worked on some podcast edits. Thank god the United States Military will be sent in to shoot unarmed civilians. This cannot hold.

submitted 20 days ago • 156 comments

This is fucking insane

submitted 20 days ago • 1 comment

Might be a lesson here somewhere about outsourcing capacity for key government services to a guy who lives in a lair under a volcano

submitted 24 days ago • 42 comments

It’s the happiest day of Elon Musk’s life because he finally posted something people actually want to read

submitted 24 days ago • 57 comments

this is like drake and kendrick lamar but they're both drake

submitted 24 days ago • 531 comments

must be incredibly frustrating and disheartening to have federal funding that was promised to you for important work suddenly and arbitrarily ripped away

submitted 24 days ago • 637 comments

He heard everyone was talking about two awful annoying guys and felt left out

submitted 24 days ago • 11 comments

Yes, you did vote to deport moms.

submitted 30 days ago • 4895 comments

I'm halfway through The Rehearsal finale. Let me be clear that I love Nathan Fielder but also he should be illegal.

submitted 32 days ago • 6 comments

A solid decade of the dumbest people on earth screeching about a "campus free speech crisis" because 19 year olds boo Ben Shapiro, and now we've got Republicans openly going "sure universities can exist, as long as whatever they research and teach aligns with the right wing administration's goals."

submitted 33 days ago • 3 comments

but if i'm not allowed to feed artists into my artist killing machine it's going to be basically impossible for the machine to keep killing artists. is that what you want?? and before you answer keep in mind this is a very expensive machine

submitted 34 days ago • 8 comments

THIS tariff threat is real and won’t be walked back. It’s very scary. He means it. Don’t mess around this time.

submitted 38 days ago • 2 comments

Accidentally got on the purple line a Belmont. My Chicago credibility just evaporated.

submitted 39 days ago • 4 comments

If you follow golf, you probably know LIV is the product of the Public Investment Fund of Saudi Arabia, and has been massively overpaying golfers to leave the PGA tour. Rates nowhere close to what they are worth as athletes, and all to normalize business relations between the US and the Kingdom.

submitted 43 days ago • 5 comments

Trump admits (1) the company thrived during the last year of Biden’s economy and (2) will be bearing the brunt of tariffs in Trump’s economy

submitted 44 days ago • 111 comments

“I can see my money is still in your pocket, which is from the yield of my labor." - the pope

submitted 52 days ago • 1 comment

Greg Mottola on @secondincommand.bsky.social on the relevance of Dr. Strangelove sixty years on from release. www.patreon.com/posts/128223...

submitted 54 days ago • 0 comments

Does anyone know if the president actually appears in any way, on screen or VO, in the movie SOUTHLAND TALES?

submitted 59 days ago • 5 comments

This is why Silicon Valley people are geniuses. It’s hard enough to not love one kid, but Musk figured how to do it at scale

submitted 75 days ago • 0 comments

Let me say this again: If a president can illegally deport someone, conspire with that country’s leader to abandon them to human rights abuses, and face no consequences, we are in a hellish authoritarian moment. What a fucking evil, illiberal government this is.

submitted 77 days ago • 0 comments

when i see blackberry ice cream on the menu on summer vacation

submitted 77 days ago • 0 comments

im not going to stop

submitted 77 days ago • 0 comments

When Criterion is having a 4K sale

submitted 77 days ago • 3 comments

That was the most stressful experience of my life and I had two kids in the NICU

submitted 77 days ago • 3 comments

Confirmed by the Senate to be the FBI director, with JD Vance as the tie breaking vote.

submitted 79 days ago • 2 comments

The DOW is down 1800 points because markets don’t suck up to anyone like feckless losers, they just react to plainly obvious insanity exhibited by lunatics

submitted 81 days ago • 11 comments

A GREAT TIME TO BUY

submitted 81 days ago • 7 comments

I fucked up on this one

submitted 81 days ago • 0 comments

God he’s just the dumbest weak coward fuck. Can’t wait till our next liberation day three months from now.

submitted 81 days ago • 1 comment