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tveite.bsky.social
i love to tell my little jokes to the nice people. portland oregon. whatever it is i'm sure it'll be fine.
1,340 posts 1,054 followers 630 following
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Posts 24 Comments 26

rich people, they're just like us (stupid, insane)

submitted 45 minutes ago • 1 comment

i have a pretty keenly developed sense of humor so please trust me when i say that it would be really funny if this stupid old shithead went to jail

submitted 2 hours ago • 0 comments

one thing about me is that i am constantly confusing the two former tampa bay rays pitchers david price and james shields for one another and i have somehow arranged my life in such a way that this comes up relatively often

submitted 20 hours ago • 2 comments

funny how if a football player wears number 80 that generally means he's a wide receiver or tight end but if someone in any other sport wears number 80 that generally means that they are not very good at that sport.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

So... Adolf Hitler has his own IMDb page. There are quotes and trivia but (weirdly) no goofs. Alarmingly, he has one upcoming project.

submitted 1 day ago • 45 comments

i am now three sittings into THE BRUTALIST and i think it's good so far but i also think that i should be finished watching it by now.

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

CHILD: so would you say that god is really big? JORDAN PETERSON (face all scrunched up like he's trying to see the code of the matrix): the only thing that's really big here is the assumption you're making about me and who i am. C: i — JP (openly weeping): shame on you. shame on this world!

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

new car seat headrest album has staying power

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

someone should put chris pratt in a movie i bet he'd do a great job

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

the colorado rockies are the first major league baseball team composed entirely of guys i made up in a dream

submitted 4 days ago • 7 comments

I’m the guy who invents new bathroom faucet designs for every hotel. You might know me from Knob That Goes The Other Way and Joystick That’s Hard To Turn Off. Lately I’ve been lacking inspiration, even thinking about hanging it up. I’ve had a good run, but — wait, never mind: Ball You Turn Diagonal

submitted 4 days ago • 262 comments

There have been reply guys everywhere for those with eyes to see

submitted 5 days ago • 36 comments

The New Mission impossible has just won the Guinness World Record for most mistakes in a movie. It has 963 mistakes. Including Tom Cruise holding a fork for 46 mins of the film. He was supposed to put it down after the opening dinner scene but forgot.

submitted 5 days ago • 3 comments

happy for Khalil of course but i must say, "lawful permanent resident not charged with any crimes, imprisoned by president's stormtroopers for having forbidden opinions about US-abetted genocide, briefly allowed to touch his child" is a hell of a thing to find oneself feeling joy and relief about

submitted 6 days ago • 30 comments

The biggest mistake I see in discussions of trans people's healthcare is the idea that hormones and the like are some special service just for us when really all kinds of people access the same health care for all kinds of reasons but they are *withheld* from us because we are trans

submitted 6 days ago • 48 comments

Made some Magic: The Gathering cards

submitted 6 days ago • 80 comments

chatgpt has really ignited my passion for making stuff i don't care about for an imagined audience of people i don't respect

submitted 6 days ago • 2 comments

i was pretty sure going into this season that the oklahoma city thunder would be favorites to win the nba finals and that was before i found out there's a rule where if shai gilgeous-alexander elbows you in the chest that means you fouled him

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

i deserve something that sucks, think i'll get subway for lunch.

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

there are no shortcuts to making a joe rogan, we need to start by making a leftist newsradio

submitted 7 days ago • 2 comments

i hope the live action lilo & stitch has so much fuckin woke shit in it

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

ok wow i love this guy

submitted 7 days ago • 1 comment

have gotten a lot better at avoiding this just had my first slip-up in awhile

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

when it comes to summer reading? my top recommendation has got to be FIGHT CLUB by ernest shmemingway

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments