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twistedelephant.bsky.social
Ilkley. Picture snapper, cyclist & hiker. Love the outdoors, beer, F1, coffee. 6 cats. Vegetarian. Atheist. I am not on Facebook.
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Otley today for a beer or two.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

LS was told yesterday that it would rain overnight. LS couldn't be bothered to bring her washing in. LS now has some wet clothes on the line, still in the rain. There is a small gap on the line, where my t-shirt was. It's nice and dry in the house. Silly LS.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

Yes, wide awake. FFS.

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

Fantastic food at Cinnamon Kitchen Leeds on Saturday, and a drink or two. 😀👍

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

I am looking forward to this.

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Clearly I need to be awake at 0140 as I'm at work at 0600, FFS.

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

I start my new job in a little over 2 hours. A complete career change.

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

A woman at the next table went to the bar and lost her seat. We said she was more than welcome to sit with us. She said something along the lines of "I cooked something the other night, which you'd love because it was vegetarian" I've never seen this woman before. The fuck? 🤔

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

LS gets £10 a week pocket money. I think this is disgusting. She gets it on a Saturday. She's blown the lot and now wants bus fares for tomorrow. Fucking mental.

submitted 16 days ago • 1 comment

My bloody family. Mother was taken by ambulance, accompanied by a doctor, to hospital at 0530 this morning. Dad just called to tell me, at 1330. He's still at home. For some reason, he didn't go with her. She's still in there. FFS.

submitted 20 days ago • 0 comments

The other night, LS said to Abi "dad was really ugly". Half of the merlot in my mouth came down my nose. It took me a minute to compose myself. She's not wrong, but I never expected to hear her say that. 😂 I'm not even sure how that came up. 👍😂

submitted 20 days ago • 1 comment

I'm sure LS has school tomorrow. I know that LS hasn't brought her washing down. She was asked to several times over the weekend. It's 19:48. This will be fun tomorrow morning. 😂

submitted 22 days ago • 1 comment

On a bus.

submitted 26 days ago • 1 comment

Ella cat is back home. She's been missing for a week. We had 2 sightings of her. Then yesterday, on the way home from the pub, I called her and she came running out from a garden. 😻

submitted 27 days ago • 0 comments

I had an interview last Wednesday. They've just offered me the job. A complete change of career. I think I needed it, after 18 years in the last shitty job.

submitted 35 days ago • 0 comments

FFS.

submitted 35 days ago • 1 comment

LS is up and dressed. It's not 0800. I'm suspicious.

submitted 37 days ago • 0 comments

The same question every morning. LS "Have you seen my key?" It'll be in the place we tell you to put it, won't it? "Where are the spare keys?" Off to school you fuck.....

submitted 38 days ago • 0 comments

Tiny Toes.

submitted 39 days ago • 0 comments

Brilliant. Round to the outlaw's for an Easter Egg hunt. Kids everywhere. I'm driving so can't get pissed. Brother in law has managed to swerve it, and he won't get two weeks of being in the doghouse. Happy Sunday.

submitted 43 days ago • 0 comments

For reasons known only to her, Abi let LS open 2 rather substantial Easter Eggs, a week early. Now it turns out that Abi has eaten most the eggs. LS was then allowed to open a smaller one last night. I'm living in a fucking madhouse.

submitted 45 days ago • 0 comments

LS made lunch for Abi. 😬👀😂

submitted 46 days ago • 1 comment

Spa day today. I really can't be arsed. So just lunch there and wine, beer and G&Ts in Otley.

submitted 47 days ago • 0 comments

Fucking quality repair work 😂

submitted 51 days ago • 0 comments

I'm confused. At 10, someone is coming round to quote for new windows on the house. Now, I'm far from an expert, but we have windows which seem to be doing the job of letting light in and keeping the weather out. 🤔 I don't have a job. 🤷🏻 Anyway, I'm on the bus to Keighley. Leave Abi to it.

submitted 51 days ago • 0 comments

He's got lovely colourings. Hopefully set free soon.

submitted 53 days ago • 0 comments

The pheasant is up and alert. The vet said it had been to the loo, so looking good. I'm so happy for him. 😀

submitted 53 days ago • 0 comments

I found this handsome boy walking down the road. Clearly something up, so I've taken him to the vet.

submitted 54 days ago • 0 comments

1 day of half-term and LS was bored, 30 minutes after she got up, at 1030. She owns a bike, how can she be bored? FFS. Anyway, she's away tomorrow and Wednesday, then goes away for 4 days on Friday. Get in! 😂

submitted 56 days ago • 0 comments

An 8 mile walk with LS to Otley this morning. I'm impressed. If she doesn't stop humming, though, she's going in the river.

submitted 57 days ago • 1 comment

LS just had her nails done. £25. She's 12. Eh?

submitted 58 days ago • 1 comment

A stroll from Ilkley to Otley.

submitted 61 days ago • 1 comment

Penelope. 😻

submitted 62 days ago • 0 comments

Dotty and Penelope. 😻

submitted 64 days ago • 0 comments

Bollocks, I forgot it was Sunday when I set out to the supermarket. FFS. A walk to the other side of town to the eye wateringly expensive co-op then.

submitted 64 days ago • 0 comments

Pancakes?

submitted 66 days ago • 0 comments

About 25 out of 72 of the lavender plugs potted up and an emergency potting tray made from some scraps of wood I had lying around.

submitted 68 days ago • 1 comment

LS. "I'm going to take mum's bank card because I still have some pocket money left on it" "Maybe you should let her know?" "I can't be bothered" And off she fucks without a care in the world. I was making pancakes. They were delicious. The thin type, not the thick American type.

submitted 69 days ago • 0 comments

I've just got home. I've hand shaped the homemade pizza dough to make a folded Italian sandwich, stuffed with roasted Mediterranean vegetables. I'm making 3x cooked chips, which are currently cooling down in the fridge, after the par boil. Abi made this for LS and her friend. 😂 Healthy.

submitted 70 days ago • 0 comments