ulicritter.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

every time i cum, someone on the planet dies.

submitted 7 days ago • 1 comment

this is me btw

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

Idiot rube: "If you're just a generally pleasant person to be around, people will like you!" Based incel chad: "Women are evil because I got rejected once in high school and never moved on from that for some reason."

submitted 39 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 57 days ago • 42 comments

i woke up screaming and then made this

submitted 56 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 66 days ago • 0 comments

The man in my walls keeps trying to suck my balls. But i won't let him. Cus they're MY balls, and I wanna suck them!!!

submitted 67 days ago • 0 comments

woke simpsons

submitted 80 days ago • 0 comments

Sex bees??? They sting you and make you hornby for man meat?????

submitted 81 days ago • 0 comments

My stupid idiot bitch wife keeps turning into Mr. Birchum during sex, I HATE IT!! Never get married, kids.

submitted 90 days ago • 0 comments

“Every day in Los Angeles, one actor is told he looks like a rapist, and 99 others drive home for an hour and a half on the 10 Freeway, upset with themselves that they don’t look enough like a rapist.” — Bucky Sinister, GRUNT Issue 2 (e-zine)

submitted 90 days ago • 112 comments

Free food glitch: Step 1. Go to Buffalo wild wings Step 2. Slam dick and balls on the counter Step 3. Say, "Give me food or I will shit my pants, HARD!" Step 4. U get free food! :D

submitted 93 days ago • 0 comments

Yall ever walked up to a hot girl (broad) said, "Hey baby." Then pissed on the floor for 11 minutes straight while maintaining eye contact and saying nothing?

submitted 95 days ago • 0 comments

"They're trying to steal my blood!!" I say, gesticulating wildly to assert dominance over the libtard cucks at the bar mitzvah.

submitted 105 days ago • 0 comments

i want this on all of my clothing

submitted 108 days ago • 1 comment

submitted 108 days ago • 0 comments

FUCK!!!

submitted 109 days ago • 0 comments

The energy i bring to bluesky

submitted 111 days ago • 1 comment

>looking for a new creature >ask the pet store assistant if the creature is dubious or scrungly >she doesnt understand >pull out illustrated diagram explaing what is dubious and what is scrungly >she laughs and says “it’s a good creature sir” >take creature home >it smokes 12 cigarettes and dies

submitted 111 days ago • 0 comments

Jumps through ur window "THE WORMS!!" Sucks ur dick leaves

submitted 111 days ago • 0 comments

That's nice :'D

submitted 114 days ago • 5 comments

U cannot and never will match my freak, it is impossible. Now let me sniff ur underwear while u breed me! >:(

submitted 113 days ago • 1 comment

submitted 113 days ago • 0 comments

How my gay neighbor looks at me after I fuck his toaster:

submitted 115 days ago • 0 comments

i have an elder beast locked in my basement (it came with the house) it gives me nightmares about a floating head that speaks in riddles that always seem to be prophetic in a horribly ironic way. but it pays its share of the rent on time every month and has violent tentacle sex with me very often!

submitted 121 days ago • 0 comments

Me in a boardroom meeting: "what if we made a show about dick cheny but hes a baby and we cal it 'lil dick'" Reed Hastings: "Wow! thats a great idea!" the wretched homunculus chained to the wall: "please father! let me die!"

submitted 126 days ago • 0 comments

i want Jessica Rabbit to use my holes (respectfully)

submitted 128 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 129 days ago • 0 comments

Fuck