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utilitylimb.bsky.social
wet mystery coming soon…
2,187 posts 40,066 followers 380 following
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Posts 24 Comments 26

“i didn’t vote for this!” you were tricked into voting for this by nefarious actors who placed a mind control device in your wallet, but i can remove it for you.

submitted 20 hours ago • 1 comment

kinda cute that people think capitalism and democracy can co-exist. like a 45 year old telling you he's gonna be Batman when he grows up.

submitted 20 hours ago • 2 comments

Shrek is destined to be killed by his eldest son. everyone knows that.

submitted 21 hours ago • 3 comments

ATTN: guys planning the next 9/11, can you do us a solid and do it on 4/20

submitted 20 hours ago • 2 comments

i want it to always be the weekend, and i want bernie sanders to be president [genie with one airpod in who got the job because his dad owns the magic lamp factory] weekend at bernie’s president, got it

submitted 1 day ago • 3 comments

using this moment of nationwide panic to break into super nintendo world and eat a goomba

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

if a memory you desire, a mnemonic do acquire, if a malady you afflict, a pneumonic suck your dick

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

the pneumonic device i use is: if a critter you see, a chipmunk it be, if a varmint you hear, a squirrel is near

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

the rat mines are owned by rats, and rats are mined from the rat mines, but the mining is done by humans, who became indebted to rats back when the stock market crashed because of the rat market boom.

submitted 2 days ago • 3 comments

you nerds are wasting your life painting those little space marines [37,975 years later] oh shit

submitted 2 days ago • 3 comments

stephen, a smith? not any more. the smiths broke up.

submitted 3 days ago • 3 comments

A great undersea castle was discovered... It has already been set upon by robbers !!

submitted 7 days ago • 1 comment

we all wanted it to happen today but it’s even funnier that he’s alive to see total humiliation on this scale

submitted 8 days ago • 7 comments

the full power of fascist military excess can’t even draw numbers bigger than a small town pride parade

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

may all our birthday wishes come true this weekend :)

submitted 10 days ago • 2 comments

I joined Bluesky exactly two years ago and I wrote a piece about my thoughts on the platform - how it's been coming along so far and where it seems fated to go. Thanks for reading.

submitted 10 days ago • 36 comments

Bluesky is dy-[💙🇮🇱🇺🇸 𝗔𝗻𝘁𝗶-𝗠𝗔𝗚𝗔 𝗟𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗹𝗼𝗿𝗱 🚫👎🌮 𝘧𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶!]-ing. The only people here are ang-[☠️🚗 𝗘𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗶𝗮’𝘀 𝗣𝗮𝘁𝗿𝗶𝗼𝘁 𝗥𝗮𝗽𝗶𝘀𝘁 🇺🇸🦋 𝘧𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶!]-ry leftists. All thought outside of tankie logic is b-[🦋𝗟𝗜𝗕𝗘𝗥𝗧𝗬 𝗪𝗔𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗥 🇺🇸 𝗚𝗢𝗨𝗧 𝗛𝗔𝗩𝗘𝗥 ⛔️🦧🔫 𝘧𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶!]-anned.

submitted 10 days ago • 6 comments

submitted 11 days ago • 7 comments

you fucked up by asking for basic human rights. now we have to take away the basic human rights you didn’t have.

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

At all hours stand three 40k following/40k follower blue wave accounts, known as Sentinels, guarding The Tomb of the Unknown Scolder.

submitted 12 days ago • 1 comment

it’s easier to kill regular millennials, but you get better loot killing elder millennials

submitted 12 days ago • 9 comments

hey we’re gonna need you to come in for some unpaid overtime to shoot civilians and sleep in a dirty garage. there’s a bucket for shitting just bring it back when you’re done or it comes out of your pay.

submitted 13 days ago • 5 comments

good luck getting anyone to spend $80 on a videogame when that same price gets you two cubic yards of screened loam

submitted 14 days ago • 9 comments