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widgetizer.bsky.social
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AI is amazing. Just a few years ago, if I didn't know something, I would Google it. Now I find myself asking this genius-level golden retriever on acid. Life comes at you fast.

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

Every sequel should be subtitled "Electric Boogaloo", and every movie after that one should be subtitled "Tokyo Drift". You can insert your own examples and see that I am correct.

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

My new thing is saying "you sound like my mother" to my mother when she's like whatever.

submitted 23 days ago • 0 comments

Sunny and Gizmo sound like the names of morning radio DJs, not bald eagles. Do better, third graders. 🦅 🐥 🐥

submitted 47 days ago • 0 comments

You'd think by now there'd be an app on your phone where to tap the button and a bald eagle brings you fresh salmon. 🐟 🦅 #FOBBV

submitted 65 days ago • 0 comments

I just watch Puppy Bowl for the commercials.

submitted 98 days ago • 0 comments

YOU DID IT LAWRENCE!!!! WOOOOOOooooooootttt!!!!

submitted 119 days ago • 1269 comments

Rachel Maddow is back to five nights a week. Your move, Jon Stewart.

submitted 127 days ago • 0 comments

My hiccups, when I stifle them, sound like an amazing fast Bernie Sanders impression.

submitted 135 days ago • 0 comments

I wish Sphere in Las Vegas (I've never been) offered a nerd tour. I hope that idea is self-explanatory. Please retweet (I'm taking that term back, since Phony Stark isn't using it anymore)

submitted 141 days ago • 0 comments

Any sufficiently advanced incompetence is indistinguishable from malice.

submitted 146 days ago • 0 comments

The word alacrity is overused and the word celerity is underused. They're so similar, but the distinction is everything. Alacrity is a cheerful readiness, whereas celerity is a swiftness of action.

submitted 176 days ago • 0 comments

We tell ourselves that we use Dark Mode to relieve eye strain, but, deep down, we all know it just makes us feel like Batman.

submitted 176 days ago • 0 comments

The OG Jardiance song on #MSNBC is a banger. I don't have type 2 diabetes, I'm just saying that it's a bop, and I know all the words.

submitted 180 days ago • 0 comments

Trump is not playing three-dimensional chess. Trump is playing four-dimensional hungry hungry hippos.

submitted 182 days ago • 0 comments