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windupez.bsky.social
I probably was already following you on twitter
4,183 posts 9,886 followers 585 following
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Posts 44 Comments 5

There are pizzas everywhere for those with mouths that eat

submitted 18 hours ago • 0 comments

Saying you're looking forward to something is great because you get credit for saying something nice but you're literally just like "I can see that this is coming up"

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

If you ever have to play a person who is panicking and cleaning up after committing a murder, just pretend it's 20min before check out on the last day of a weeklong trip and you haven't packed your suitcase back up yet

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

Airhorn that does a Wilhelm scream

submitted 19 days ago • 1 comment

the boys are back in town but the day they have available to hang out you have a thing already

submitted 44 days ago • 0 comments

Going to a Schengen country anyone need some goods real quick

submitted 49 days ago • 0 comments

Mr trump please reverse the tariffs so I can buy the wikifeet teddy bear

submitted 49 days ago • 6 comments

Shoutout to the guy I just saw on my overnight flight to Dublin start to watch Anora then quickly and embarrassedly turn it off ten seconds in

submitted 49 days ago • 1 comment

About to fly on aer lingus, the airline DJ Khaled famously refuses to ride

submitted 49 days ago • 1 comment

submitted 52 days ago • 1 comment

Just wrapped up another semester at the pottery www.chadlavimoniere.com/pottery/2025...

submitted 53 days ago • 0 comments

Not to brag but today I earned ten points at my local coffee shop, whatever the fuck that means

submitted 53 days ago • 0 comments

It's officially spring in Brooklyn now, just saw the first large group of annoying dirtbike wheelie guys of the year blasting down a major thoroughfare

submitted 55 days ago • 0 comments

Just saw a list of "companies that remain COMMITTED to DEI initiatives" and McKinsey was on the list. Oh cool great thanks

submitted 57 days ago • 0 comments

My wife threw a little piece of steak to my dog earlier, and it bounced off of his head and into a bookshelf. To him this is now the Mysterious Shelf of Wonders.

submitted 57 days ago • 0 comments

Kind of weird that I give my dog his heart medicine wrapped in a piece of cheese

submitted 64 days ago • 0 comments

Hustling to finish eating my 2024 spiders before the tax deadline

submitted 65 days ago • 1 comment

There really haven't been a lot of other famous bandicoots huh

submitted 68 days ago • 0 comments

Just overheard someone say that someone else had a hernia "the size of a weed grinder"

submitted 79 days ago • 1 comment

Horny guy pushing the wand release button on his vacuum, then getting disappointed

submitted 81 days ago • 0 comments

You need another one?? What did you do with the 9V battery I gave you six months ago, smoke detector?

submitted 89 days ago • 0 comments

Imagining a 30-something year old in the 1920s wearing a "be patient with me, I'm from the 1800s" tee

submitted 92 days ago • 0 comments

Ratatouille age Ratatouille net worth Ratatouille feet Ratatouille married

submitted 96 days ago • 0 comments

Adams must be removed. The city cannot sustain being governed for nearly a year by a Mayor who is being coerced by Trump admin in order to escape charges. This corruption poses a real threat to the people of the city. He should have resigned a while ago, but will not. So it’s time for him to go.

submitted 99 days ago • 1733 comments

Preparing myself for another 4+ years of democrats doing this in response to the far right fascists seizing and destroying more and more of America

submitted 123 days ago • 2 comments

r/ShadowsOnCaveWallTooHigh

submitted 116 days ago • 0 comments

Skechers slip in casket

submitted 101 days ago • 0 comments

another successful day of sitting perfectly still and drinking zero water while staring at a magical light up rock. Hell yeah dude. This shit is what our ancestors came down from the trees for.

submitted 101 days ago • 0 comments

[aqualung voice] sitting on the toilet

submitted 105 days ago • 0 comments

So hey, it's the last night of Jesse and Theresa's fundraiser for Al Otro Lado, supporting people in migration at the US-MX border. If you are able to donate, you've got about an hour to get in under the wire!

submitted 105 days ago • 0 comments

Sorry instagram ad, I am not currently interested in meeting the iconic Japanese toaster, I just have like a lot going on rn

submitted 112 days ago • 0 comments

Not a coincidence that advert and pervert are so similar. Both annoying little slimy guys that sneak in and ruin your good time

submitted 112 days ago • 0 comments

Be direct and factual. Just write "This email has found you."

submitted 113 days ago • 1 comment

Taking most things lying down lately

submitted 113 days ago • 0 comments

I saved letting myself go for marriage

submitted 114 days ago • 0 comments

they don't want to admit it but all stickers are scratch and sniff

submitted 114 days ago • 1 comment

God bless

submitted 115 days ago • 513 comments

If Wikipedia is so bad, why did your wife copy-and-paste so much of it into her PhD thesis? 🤔

submitted 117 days ago • 7 comments

r/ShadowsOnCaveWallTooHigh

submitted 116 days ago • 0 comments

It's chilling to think that there are adults in this world who are younger than the whiskey rocks craze

submitted 116 days ago • 1 comment

Resolving to spend more time in brodo this year

submitted 117 days ago • 0 comments

a different version for you posters out there postin' the good fight,

submitted 117 days ago • 2 comments

Just uh, resharing this 🙂

submitted 122 days ago • 19 comments

Walked by a line of parked cars today with dicks drawn in the snow on their hoods. Each dick was smaller than the last. Walking by was like a zoetrope animation.

submitted 122 days ago • 0 comments