I hate how my constant reaction to things is to profusely apologize because I know it makes other people feel uncomfortable when you do it in a self deprecating manner but also it's the only thing that feels correct to do sometimes
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Man thats a mood for me too. Whats helped me is trying to reframe it as positive “Thank you for being here for me” etc etc. It helps give you more awareness of when it happens while also providing you a way to still fill the need. The goal is of course to address the underlying cause eventually but…
like your first reaction to feeling self hatred and depression is to offer your neck to others in hopes of ...what exactly? Not sure. But when you don't like yourself the only thing you want to do is apologize for being so bad, but that makes them feel bad too
I can relate, I used to do the same thing a lot. Maybe not for the same reasons? I'd apologise when I felt like I was a bad person for having thoughts or feelings I wasn't comfortable expressing. Eventually, with help, I found the courage to start expressing those thoughts and feelings bit by bit
As a result I felt way less sad and isolated because people surprised me in how they responded to the things I struggled so much to share. I hope you can find a similar kind of relief some day but even if you don't, it's ok to apologise💖 It's a way of sharing how you feel, too
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welcome mon ami