i feel like i've talked about this before but a fundamental survival skill for surviving fandom is learning to identify when the speaker is presenting a phd thesis vs. playing dolls.
Comments
Log in with your Bluesky account to leave a comment
don't go into the phd dissertation and say "well i think barbie should vore polly pocket" and expect to have it received well. do not walk up to someone playing dolls and go "well actually there's no evidence in the source material that barbie or polly pocket has an interest in homoerotic soft vore"
bc here's the thing. people like it when you match their tone.
people doing a phd dissertation probably want, or at least expect, that people will ask them questions, contribute, disagree, or argue but they want it to be done in good-faith in a way that makes them feel listened to and respected.
likewise, people don't want to play dolls alone but you're not respecting their play by arguing with them. they want other people to "yes and" or "no and" as a means of contributing to play. but telling them "you're playing wrong" is not contributing to play, it's stopping it.
I've seen it happen a lot of times, it's really tiresome how it makes people move in a kind of horde mode, where they start flooding comments and qrts with whatever arguments they have against the other. It can make fandom spaces really unbearable at times
some people play the pokemon card game and are incredibly invested in the game itself. some people collect 300 fat pikachu cards. 300 fat pikachu person is not allowed in tournaments for a reason, and serious pokemon player seems like a clown if they critique the playability of the 300 fat pika deck
right like some people will play dolls in ways i cannot comprehend being fun for myself being someone who's obsessed with staying as IC as possible but i respect that it's just playing dolls and either say nothing or be supportive! even i do go into the OOC doll room myself for penis purposes..isfun
Comments
Like there’s different parts of the fandom for different types of fun, you gotta find your space
people doing a phd dissertation probably want, or at least expect, that people will ask them questions, contribute, disagree, or argue but they want it to be done in good-faith in a way that makes them feel listened to and respected.