Not having enough time for myself, barely any wind-down at night, having to rush my coffees in the morning.
Having excruciating insomnia fueled by anxiety.
Having excruciating insomnia fueled by anxiety.
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Of the tips and tricks that got her to sleep; rocking her in my nursing cushion, holding her with one arm, watching her drift as she nursed.
Even the feeds themselves, she now wants to sit up, rather than rest in my arms.
I let go of that baby.
I love her so much. Today, she’s a 6mo old who is loving foods, who rolls over when I try to change her, who laughs and giggles and babbles. Who sits on her high chair and doesn’t fit on my nursing pillow.
I let go of my newborn to love my baby.
Who will rock my baby to sleep even though my arms are burning, who will play with her even though I’m exhausted or sick.