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ketamine this time but he gave me some bullshit explanation (all valid I’m sure) about why what I was getting would be better for this surgery, yadda yadda …
After that surgery continued on in SICU aka heaven in my neck brace, with my hourly visits for vitals and my left arm was wrapped
ketamine this time but he gave me some bullshit explanation (all valid I’m sure) about why what I was getting would be better for this surgery, yadda yadda …
After that surgery continued on in SICU aka heaven in my neck brace, with my hourly visits for vitals and my left arm was wrapped
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and in a sling this whole time but with all the neck issues and surgeries, I asked my primary nurse when they would finally fix my arm/shoulder. She didn’t know. I remembered talking to a doctor in first night I arrived or maybe it was the next morning and never hearing anything about it again
Third surgery eventually was on arm. And yes, I did apologize to primary nurse to whom I feared I demonstrated impatience or might have been curt that one time she and I had different understanding of my fentanyl dose.
She laughed and said I was fine and didn’t have any reason to apologize
But I was glad I did apologize and I was more curt than I should have been. I wondered whether knowing I would have multiple surgeries in multiple days if they pumped me full of ketamine for that first surgery on purpose to help put me in a better mental place to confront what was coming. I
told myself I would ask because if it wasn’t a deliberate strategy, it could have been and might be beneficial for others in the future facing multiple surgeries. I’ve never talked to the right people to discuss it since then.
I was a member of the local psychedelic society and had an
Understanding from different speakers at our monthly meetings at what I called “the hippie cafe” about the science behind benefits from different psychedelics and from my own experiences. I also continued to feel free. Not much of a care in the world, even though I didn’t have insurance or
significant financial resources or the ability to work. The one appointment I missed that did bother me was my scheduled orientation meeting with the Denver Harm Reduction Action Center where I intended to volunteer. They did the meetings quarterly, I think and I would miss mine and have