He has elected, in his age and abilities, to decline treatments that made him feel shittier, even if they may eventually prolong his life. The pandemic has not taken his life, but in a way, it has taken the life that he and my mother might have had, otherwise.
Can I, a non medical professional, say with certainty that his early 2021 COVID infection prompted this spiralling of events? No, but none of his care providers could say with certainty it _didn’t_.
When I saw him last (Family Day weekend) he couldn’t remember my name.
Which is so, so hard for me because the last time I saw my father alive in 2009, he also couldn’t remember my name.
(The dad thing was definitely worse— my dad had no idea I was his daughter, or even family, while my sister, brother, mother, and grandparents were all in his hospital room sitting talking with him.)
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Which is so, so hard for me because the last time I saw my father alive in 2009, he also couldn’t remember my name.