I think being in sports from a very young age fucked up my ability to be chill about hobbies. I can’t have fun watching movies, running, reading, lifting, etc. unless I am constantly getting better at it
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Ugh, I can empathize. For FAR too long, I was on an impossible-to-accomplish self-optimization mission. Sports taught me how to process suboptimal results, sure, but also to *loathe* anything short of perfection.
It was only in the past couple years I was able to accept that my subjective enjoyment of something being tied to how objectively proficient I am at that thing was a recipe for keeping myself perpetually miserable.
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