the idea of "networking" fucking terrifies me, like what do you mean there's folks who see me as just as step-ladder to success because my dice rolls happened to be lucky for two vids, what the fuck are you on
Comments
Log in with your Bluesky account to leave a comment
I once saw one of my friends, who was plus one-ing a youtuber we both knew at a party, get spoken to by a random person at said party. Everything seemed fine until he got asked how many subs he had. Naturally, he said zero. The person said nothing, and just walked away from him.
i just wanna make friends with people who make neat videos.
"connections" are a byproduct. don't even ask for them. people just sort of offer them to you when they genuinely like you enough.
tbh it's been a bit of a rude awakening, realizing how prevalent that mentality is. i'm out here mainly trying to make friends lol, so thinking that others might see me as a "connection" is a lil depressing. but i get that it's part of """the grind""". even if i don't subscribe to that at all lol
doing stuff online is already so crushing and exhausting. idk why people wanna blow up and end up isolated in their little ivory tower. idk to me a lot of this stuff is so ephemeral, so i value other ppl more than i do stats. but then again i suck ass at "business" or whatever lmao
This is like my biggest fear… it makes me simultaneously distrustful of others enjoyment of my work and the friendships that I form online. J do this all to meet people who things because I’m tired of being alone… I never wanted to be admired. I just wanted to be understood. Idk. Blech
It’s weird. It’s like you grafted a bit of yourself to soil and then you have to be roommates with yourself for the rest of your life as people get to know you because of that funny plant you live with
a form of disrespect that feels oddly common is "Hey! You're friends with [person they really want to talk to], can you introduce me?" as like. their first DM to you
like. it's kind of funny honestly
except the ones w the "because they blocked me, but I really want to tell them something!" followup
Always found the concept off-putting from the other side too. Like the idea that career advancement is tied to who you manage to make friends with sounds like a really flawed system.
One will say one of the coolest parts of making videos has been connecting with peers who genuinely care about similar stuff without trying to get something out of it. Doing some 48 laws of power kind of thing out of it seems like a bad foundation and people can sense that pretty quick.
The social media "mutuals" thing always fucks me up in the same way, I'm always so scared of coming across as either parasocial or clout-chasing when I'm friendly with mutuals. Like it's harder to read sincerity over text, but ESPECIALLY in social media comment sections with acquaintances
ye i think it's a very precarious balance because even in good situations people will still be on their guard. tho imo, you never gave off that vibe in the few years i've known you
i try to actively weed out ppl who are trying to do this with me. i legit get scared at the idea of having more than like 500 followers. like. i just wanna make things to show my friends.
The best networking advice is to not network but to make friends. Networking as a concept is outrageous. Imagine telling someone they need to meet people to use them
the purpose of a system is what it does unfortunately, and tho I know plenty of good people in the Content Creation tm space the system is designed to churn out number crunching non-humans like Mr. Beast and Jake Paul and their wannabes instead of good people it seems
yeah it fucking bloooows. so many people i know even at small sizes operate under the same logic and it's like yo please... learn to live a lil', to enjoy what you do
I can see what you mean but I think I don't think I think of it as just that way depending how the term is used. I also kind of see it as another word for your personal support group/relationships as your network can contain friends and family (not as step-ladders), not just work colleagues.
I think what you're talking about is business networking while I am talking about personal network though. I guess I don't mind it with some kind of business college but just using your friends for just work doesn't sound like you're friends to begin with...
I like the version of networking where you make actual connections with people in the same field as you and help each other grow.
fuck the version where you're expected to cold call someone and suck up to them just to leech off their success 🤢
It's appropriation of terms & concepts like "friend" in these networking spaces that bothers me to an ethical level. It's concerning how it's underscored, revealing inauthenticity & superficiality underneath it all when the reality is that building actual genuine relationships takes time & effort.
I learned pretty early on in my real world career that if someone isn't trying to make real connections, people can tell pretty fast, and that's a sink that sticks. You really don't want to be known as someone who just wants to use people. Anyway, point is, you aren't alone in those feelings.
is my autism showing again or am i just socially maladjusted, i thought friendships were supposed to come from genuine places not out of trying to out-climb each other in some made up social ladder
Nah, you are good. This is stuff created by the weird capitalistic and corporate mindset developed over the years in certain areas of work. Maybe everywhere, but I especially see it in things like for example content creation (I hate that phrase but eh), game dev (big studios?).
Maybe the idea in some places is simply to share knowledge and find like minded people in your spaces of work, but I feel like it has horrible twisted somehow. Maybe it is just as stupid and simple as it sounds because capitalism or more so capitalistic thinking. Maybe I am „extremising“ it though.
No you're bang on with this. I have a mate in a band who only speaks to other music people to "network". Doesn't look to meet people, build connections, have fun. Just all about the grind and I find that mindset excruciating! Probably why I have a great circle of mates and a struggling YT channel 😄
I feel this, I know it's "good for opportunities" to try and "network" as much as possible but I find it very difficult to force interactions in a social setting, unless I can talk about something I'm into or add to a conversation I'd just rather keep to myself and do my own thing
networking is fucking deranged. it's the same type of shit where you're expected to chase a job you want and show you "really want it" by jumping through difficult hoops. it's deranged. it's mind boggling. but im also autistic so.........
the networking shit is just weird. i guess i always saw it as less friendship and more like..hey lemme give u my email so if you have a question or need a reference i got you or like can introduce u to someone who can help get u a job. but I only do that for ppl i actually like, so...idk!
i just graduated art college and networking has to be the thing my brain doesn't like at all. I was at a fairly large artist expo for a week a while back and with some of the people who would approach me about my work i just felt like they did not care at all but were clearly pretending to.
I mean, I think networking doesn’t have to be purely for social gain, and friends should hope that their friends find success right? I agree networking can feel very scummy on both ends, but I don’t think it has to be one or the other. 🤷
i think you misunderstand my point. networking is inherently a capitalistic concept that comes from business. wanting your homies to get success is just being a good friend.
That’s fair. Networking bad, it perverts what social interactions should be.
Perhaps I mean that networking is generally not morally upright, but I think you can achieve similar if not better results if your goal is to make friends within the same industry?
The grind wasn't made for us. Even when I find myself in settings where networking is a given, I still find myself guided by a desire to be genuine. I will be nice, but I will not participate in the song and dance
Comments
"connections" are a byproduct. don't even ask for them. people just sort of offer them to you when they genuinely like you enough.
like. it's kind of funny honestly
except the ones w the "because they blocked me, but I really want to tell them something!" followup
Even when the feelings are true, it feels icky. The thought of "Do they see me as (or are they) just trying to clout chase" is always there to me.
fuck the version where you're expected to cold call someone and suck up to them just to leech off their success 🤢
Perhaps I mean that networking is generally not morally upright, but I think you can achieve similar if not better results if your goal is to make friends within the same industry?