can i trust that the *truly* OPEN-ENDED, IMPARTIAL, VULNERABLE, HUMBLE, EARNEST, SINCERE engagement with this question will be ok? will, in fact, *lead* me to what it is that i actually want?
this said, i do believe that the genuine wants that lead a human being into the kind of sincere inquiry that in turn leads to awakening are certainly in my system; i have seen them arise spontaneously and also systematically nourished them
the trick is that the intellect can get ahead of the game and try to answer the genuine questions without actually facing them. why allow my heart to be torn open, humbled, confused, to lie naked upon the fire and the ice?
much easier to just say "awakening will fix it, i just need to awaken." or, of course, to just believe one can keep suffering at bay through means of control, by domination of conditions. ultimately these are the same strategy - awakening becomes imagined as a means of control
(in regards to awakening, i don't think the intellect is only this trap to be dodged; it is also a tool that has beneficial use, and a tool we cannot avoid using)
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even if i don't end up "wanting awakening?"