Ugh don't call people strong or brave for having survived something the best way they could please don't annotate people's trauma for them even if it's in the public eye - ThreadSky

theradr.bsky.social • 27 days ago

Ugh don't call people strong or brave for having survived something

the best way they could

please don't annotate people's trauma for them even if it's in the public eye

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soozlemcdoozle.bsky.social•27 days ago

This all day long.

jessicatucker.bsky.social•27 days ago

After a very traumatic and nearly deadly birth of my second child, the doctor said to me a few days later, "You handled that pain like a rock star!" and I said "You say it like I had a choice."

theradr.bsky.social•27 days ago

I’m so sorry you had to go through that. And yeah.

jilljustsaid.bsky.social•27 days ago

I think when people say those things, they're just trying to be supportive and kind. What's the problem with that. I, myself, said those thing about the French lady whose husband drugged her to let strangers rape her. I wasn't annotating anything. I was just pointing out fact. What's your problem?

pnwzebra.bsky.social•27 days ago

Working in crisis intervention I found many times people took heart from being told that they are not just helpless victims, but strong for still being here and brave for reaching out for help. It’s not something I’d say to everyone, but I don’t agree with “never say it.”

vcooper.bsky.social•27 days ago

Sorry I posted and then deleted…I forgot to add alt text.

moddyfire.bsky.social•27 days ago

I hate being called brave. It usually means that I missed an obvious danger

dyck-pix.bsky.social•27 days ago

THIS! @julieslalonde.bsky.social wrote an incredible memoir about being stalked for >10 years, and how her ability to keep showing up for work, school and community was used to downplay the severity of situation. Her book is called Resilience is Futile and it is an *excellent* read.

julieslalonde.bsky.social•27 days ago

Thanks for the plug, pal!

And yeah, I studied the futility of resilience in grad school, and then realized I was basically researching my own life and the ways in which my strengths and tenacity were used to undermine the severity of what I went through.

justdoinapoo.bsky.social•27 days ago

This is one of those common things that always bothered me. You would think someone would have preferred not to have that trauma.

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