I was born in the year 1518 in the village of Glenfinnin in the Scottish highlands. I must battle down through the centuries until… well, I needed a wee at that part of the orientation, so I'm not sure. They were, however, very insistent I didn't get my head cut off which, tbh, I wasn't planning to.
I was 5 years old when my mother was 7 times my age, but my sister was 10 times younger than my father, who was 4 years older than my mother when she was six years younger, the same age that my grandmother was when she went down on the Titanic
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