Gladiator has a special place in my heart because it was the first film i saw with my mother where i took HER. She didn't take me. I was back from uni. I knew she loved history but didn't think she was 'allowed' to. I bought the tickets. She came with me. /1 - ThreadSky

garius.bsky.social • 152 days ago

Gladiator has a special place in my heart because it was the first film i saw with my mother where i took HER. She didn't take me.

I was back from uni. I knew she loved history but didn't think she was 'allowed' to. I bought the tickets. She came with me. /1

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buchschmiedin.bsky.social•151 days ago

The movie was one of the things that let me learn about my own grief after losing my father (also to cancer, which can fuck all the way off), so it holds a similarly important place in my life. I haven't watched it in a long while but it'll always break me a little, but in an important way.

subba.bsky.social•151 days ago

Raised by a good mother.

joanwestenberg.com•151 days ago

I love this.

Mine was one of the Star Wars films with my Mum.

tonydaniel.bsky.social•152 days ago

What a beautiful tribute and memory, John. I have no words to express my feelings right now. Very, very touching. Thank you.

vivbnow.bsky.social•151 days ago

thank you so much for sharing this x

paulheardartist.bsky.social•152 days ago

It's a nice film, eternally historic for filming a dead actor, the first of many to come.

funsoph.bsky.social•152 days ago

A different reason for me. One Christmas I bought our first DVD Player, Gladiator and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon for my (now) husband for Christmas. The sound of them. Incredible.

bjkeefe.bsky.social•152 days ago

Great thread.

garius.bsky.social•152 days ago

She loved it. She cried at the end. She sparked. She raved about it on the walk back.

In that moment, i saw everything my dad had always said about how SHE - not he - had been the chaotic thinking one when they got together. I saw me in her, probably for the first time. /2

karenroberts.bsky.social•152 days ago

What a lovely memory.

garius.bsky.social•152 days ago

NOW i see how much conforming to the norms of emotional labour and motherhood had worn the edges off her potential.

She could have been brilliant. She had ten times the brain and personality i have. Bit society never let her shine, even though my dad supported as best he could. /3

grumpyyetamusin.bsky.social•152 days ago

I feel this so strongly about my mum too. One of the smartest, sharpest, most curious people I knew. Spent her life as a mum, carer, and secretary.

Even in her last weeks, we'd watch TV together and she'd be looking up stuff on her phone about the actors/shows/subjects.

annetteeb.bsky.social•151 days ago

Wonderful and so true. You bought a lump to my throat and tears of recognition as this was true of my mum too. She loved opera, theatre and culture in general and growing up in darkest Lincolnshire in the 30s with little education, yet she didn’t let that define her.

garius.bsky.social•152 days ago

I had spent a long time until then resenting my mum. I loved her, but she had a temper. And she took it out on my dad. He bore it with a dignity that, as i got older, i could NEVER understand.

Until then.

I saw she had never been angry at him. Or us. She was angry at the cage that was the world /4

gregwtravels.bsky.social•152 days ago

I'm the youngest (by 12 years) of my three siblings (two older sisters). To me, my Mom mellowed as she aged, but it also coincided with her not having to do the daily household duties and getting a job.

See was a brilliant woman. A natural comedian. Sarcastic yet loving.

catherineboyle1.bsky.social•152 days ago

This is really beautiful and love that as an adult you were able to see and understand your mother in this way. I hope my children will give me the same grace and understanding

garius.bsky.social•152 days ago

We had a reconciliation of sorts then. I understood her for the first time. I think that may even have been the first point where i realised how FUCKED the world was if you weren't male.

She was a glorious bird, who'd had her wings clipped, when she could have soared. /5

rigg.lgbt•151 days ago

Good lord you write beautifully

fenbeast.bsky.social•152 days ago

You’re describing my aunt Pam, who was told that becoming pregnant with my cousin was the end of her PhD. She listened. And regretted it for most of her adult life, because of course my uncle had no problem continuing his studies as a new father.

She found her redemption in paleontology at 70+.

nbrookus.bsky.social•152 days ago

Whole generations of the talents of women lost.

garius.bsky.social•152 days ago

Anyway. I bought her the DVD for christmas. She'd watch it weekly while ironing. Then she told me she'd signed up for a history degree.

I helped her learn how to write essays.

She got a first. Better than i ever did. /6

talentcoop.bsky.social•152 days ago

Oh this is a beautiful, poignant, touching little thread... pretty sure it will resonate with many....certainly brought memories up here of a similar outing but to the theatre .... Shirley Valentine 💔💝
Thank you for posting it 🙏

garius.bsky.social•152 days ago

I got to see her graduate just as a few years before she had watched me.

I got to stand beside my dad. He was so proud. So was I. She was radiant.

We lost her five years or so later. Fuck cancer.

But my memory of her is never the end. Whenever i hear Elysium from Gladiator, i remember, and smile.

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