One of my partners and a metamour are going to be here in just over a week and it's going to be the first time I'm actually hosting people in my own apartment, rather than traveling and renting out an AirBnB. NGL I'm kinda freaked out, and every day it gets closer my anxiety gets higher. - ThreadSky

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ilorinlorati.bsky.social • 81 days ago

One of my partners and a metamour are going to be here in just over a week and it's going to be the first time I'm actually hosting people in my own apartment, rather than traveling and renting out an AirBnB.

NGL I'm kinda freaked out, and every day it gets closer my anxiety gets higher.

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ilorinlorati.bsky.social•81 days ago

The space can never be clean enough (even though we keep the apartment as clean as anyone can reasonably expect).
There's more people living here than was planned for when we decided to do this. What if that's an issue?
What if, despite triple checking wheelchair sizes, my partner can't navigate?

ilorinlorati.bsky.social•81 days ago

Dietary restrictions could clash with autistic aversions. Am I overplanning? Underplanning? It'll be the first time I see them in person. What if despite every attempt to be genuine from both my partner and I, it's just not the same? What if our age difference is just too much?

ilorinlorati.bsky.social•81 days ago

I know I'm ready for this, that we both are.

But what if we're not?

ilorinlorati.bsky.social•81 days ago

I'm not asking for help. I'm an adult and know how to manage my anxieties. All I needed was to vent, and these days the void seems to be some clouds and a blue sky. It's not a bad position to be in.

I'm breathing. I'll be okay. We're going to have a great time. I know this.

I just hate "what ifs".

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