1. They’re not doing it the way I want them to -> look at the effort they’re making trying and learning to support me better. How can I show appreciation for their effort and progress while inviting them to continue meeting me where I’m at better?
2. We’re not having sex like we’re used to and I can’t tell if it’s ever going to get back to the way it was -> there are seasons of passion in every relationship. How are we creating intimacy outside of sex? What intimacy may I be overlooking that I can appreciate more?
3. Maybe it’s easier to call it quits and go try again in another relationship -> every relationship will have its difficulties, but these are just opportunities to build a better and more aligned partnership.
How can we grow together through this situation so we’re even better than we were before?
4. I’m still pissed about XYZ. This means we’re doomed -> I’m allowed to be angry or sad about an experience that hurt me and I can make room to sit with other positive aspects of our relationship too.
What do I still need to process and release the hurt? Can I feel the pain but still…
Allow myself to be witness to what’s working in our relationship? What might the pain be blinding me from seeing that may actually help me feel better?
5. If I was with the “right” partner we wouldn’t have any conflict like this… -> conflict is a natural part of every relationship. The difference between healthy and happy couples and unhappy is how they handle it.
This is just another chance to learn to handle conflict better and use it to…
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How can we grow together through this situation so we’re even better than we were before?
What do I still need to process and release the hurt? Can I feel the pain but still…
This is just another chance to learn to handle conflict better and use it to…