"We found that a large segment of Americans between the ages of 18 and 27 routinely forgo sexual activity because the temptation of the takeout from two nights ago they know is waiting for them in the fridge is simply too hard to overcome."
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Bloomin' onions! It must be true! Thankfully, age helps one appreciate leftovers in bed with or without the telly. But, we do look forward to the follow-on story exploring that intense, yet silent, minority of the target segment exploring cosplay as leftovers.
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(Just kidding, you do you kids)