Always felt that two weeks’ paternity leave seemed very low but now, facing my husband going back to work, it’s hard not to feel that two weeks’ paternity leave is an utter joke and a very unfunny one at that
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Most of that 2 weeks is just coming to terms with the fact that you have a tiny human you’re suddenly responsible for. No chance to get into any sort of routine, literally surviving hour to hour. Hope you get through ok, sure you will do no matter how tough it seems at first
Yes! Similarly, we actually got three weeks as baby was born during a school holiday- if he had gone back after just two weeks I really don’t know how we would have coped (especially post c-section)
It does get easier! Baby groups are a huge support network. Get on a new Mum WhatsApp group if you can, having other people up at 3am despairing helps so much.
Remember: it's all a series of phases, everyone hates it sometimes, you're doing well x
We ended up with one week as the second wasn't full pay. Also after c-section. Got home on the Tuesday after 3 days in hospital (rocky couple of days) and he was back at work Monday. Nowhere near long enough.
Canada - we get 12 mos (18 in some circs) parental leave divided between parents as they wish. (Going on memory... was a while ago). Wage replacement is inadequate for many, but it's a start. I don't know how you manage with only a few weeks, I really don't. Best of luck.
Same. Those were some weird emotions. I was lucky as I had honest friends and sis who’d been through the baby stage already. They tell it like it is! Meant when it wasn’t all sparkly and tinkly laughs, I didn’t feel it was just me that was shit at it. When they’re tiny, some days are just very hard.
Both weeks also being mandated at the pittance of statutory pay also makes it very difficult for households where there is a big salary difference to use it unless the employer has their own arrangements in place (mine was 1 week full salary, rest statutory unless you took annual leave).
It’s nowhere near enough. When I had my first, it was like a second and seemingly unnecessary shock after becoming parents only two weeks earlier. If you haven’t got a network of new mums on WhatsApp already, I’d thoroughly recommend that. It helped me, and we’re still in contact 7 years on.
That’s certainly how we felt. Just come back from 2 weeks holiday and almost all the joy I got from it was seeing my wean from morning till evening and being on hand all day.
It's awful. My husband booked a week of AL to run after pat leave with #1 which was lucky because at the point the 2 weeks ended I still couldn't stand up from seated without help (cs healed poorly, all fine in the end). That's unusual obviously but not *that* unusual!
It really is. Had our first in the UK, 1 week statutory and 1 week unpaid. Moved to Sweden and they immediately gave me 180 days for the same child. She was 1 at the time and I hadn’t even paid into the system yet.
Big hug to you fellow mama. It’s very hard to suddenly feel like you’re on your own - make sure you take all those offers of help you’re given and know you always have an ear on here too ❤️
My son in law had this for their 3rd, and it just made such a difference and took off the pressure , whole fam so much more relaxed , and a v happy baby.
Mine gives us 2 months and I thought that was generous. My PL starts next week. I’m glad to see more firms adopting this approach. It was so helpful for me first time round to be there for those early weeks, and there was so much that happened that I’d have missed out on being in the office.
2 months is really good in the market (mine is very much an outlier, I think). I know so many dads who were pressured not to take anything or the bare minimum. My partner is self-employed, so he didn’t take much at all. With our first child I felt completely when he went back to work.
Yes. Hugely so. Promise many of us know that and will work to change it (which I know doesn’t help with facing a line Monday. I’ve been there - solidarity.)
100% that’s right. No advice cos who needs it- I’ll just be hoping you get to do something no matter how small for yourself tomorrow - chocolate, solo shower, whatever it is. You got this.
Completely agree - my first week was spent back and forth to the hospital while my wife recovered. The second week which I took after a school half-term was the best ever week of my 26 year teaching career. Wish I’d had more.
Agree! A better way of doing this might be to allocate each family a number of weeks “parenting leave” and then let each family decide what works best for them (allowing families to decide whether to take it concurrently or consecutively and how it will be shared b/w parents).
Congratulations! And also, yes you're absolutely right. Two weeks in it's just about can you get through the day, and that's if everything went well let alone any complications.
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I cannot imagine leaving my wife alone after just 2.
It does get easier! Baby groups are a huge support network. Get on a new Mum WhatsApp group if you can, having other people up at 3am despairing helps so much.
Remember: it's all a series of phases, everyone hates it sometimes, you're doing well x