I am an agender trans masc individual and was eager to begin the search for community when I came out on Facebook back in 2014 (FB has since removed my coming out post). I struggled finding community. I joined all sorts of FB groups and was looking to post my own stuff after lurking for a while. - ThreadSky

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adrean.bsky.social • 52 days ago

I am an agender trans masc individual and was eager to begin the search for community when I came out on Facebook back in 2014 (FB has since removed my coming out post). I struggled finding community. I joined all sorts of FB groups and was looking to post my own stuff after lurking for a while.

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adrean.bsky.social•52 days ago

At the time these groups were struggling with balancing the trans fem and masc posts and trans mascs were taking up a lot of space. But ppl raised as women are raised to take up less space and in transition I wanted and needed to break out of that, presumably everyone else too.

adrean.bsky.social•52 days ago

Also ppl raised as men are raised to take up more space & trans fems might try to take up less space in their transitions, but they do still need space like everyone else. But me being new to the queer community™ saw men are taking up too much space and felt that I wasn’t allowed to take up space.

adrean.bsky.social•52 days ago

So what do I do? I can’t continue to minimize myself & clearly I wasn’t welcome to take up space in the groups meant to shield me from the cis gaze. So I became a lurker without identity. I left FB many years ago recognizing I was in a state of constant angst and this was harming my mental health.

adrean.bsky.social•52 days ago

On top of issues in FB groups I was seeing a lot of queer media in my feed that was all fem coded even if they were about trans masc ppl. It seemed like if you were going to be a masc person in the queer community™ you had to be an ethereal unicorn aesthetic or identifiable as afab. Not my vibe.

adrean.bsky.social•52 days ago

Why can’t trans masculine people pass and still be accepted by the queer community™? Why must we disappear? I don’t relate to cis men at all, I’m not a man but people will perceive me as a man and expect me to fit. I’m in limbo.

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