Highkey Kaiser Permanente's online portal and its emphasis on "lifestyle" and "wellness" very quickly begins to feel like, "We are doing everything we can to make sure you don't come and see a healthcare professional in-person."
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And like, I GET the preventative measures, I GET that I'm probably not immediately dying, but also I need a fucking REAL CHECKUP because I've been "This is probably fine"-ing my way away from hospitals for the past 5 years and I'm pretty sure that's not actually how you're supposed to do it.
Like, I DO stretches, I DO yoga, I'm a normally very mobile person. If I'm experiencing upper back/shoulder pain to the point where *I want to see a doctor* maybe don't send me condescending videos about stretching when I'm like, "Please let me schedule an appointment with a doctor."
Kaiser Permanente: You need a pap smear.
Me: Okay let me schedule a pap smear.
KP: Oouggh it looks like your closest medical center doesn't do pap smears. Sowwyyyyyyy.
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Me: Okay let me schedule a pap smear.
KP: Oouggh it looks like your closest medical center doesn't do pap smears. Sowwyyyyyyy.