I have sooooo many thoughts on this but I suppose I'll just share a related experience: the sheer whiplash between the first(well, the first post-coming out) and last dyke events I went to with my ex
Comments
Log in with your Bluesky account to leave a comment
Now I had the experience of growing up with tons of lesbian friends, and long being welcome in lesbian spaces even as a "man"(especially with those who I had come out to).
Even recounted that to a therapist(who happened to be Jazz Jenning's aunt lol) and she said, without pausing, "It's because they don't see you as a threat"
So anyways, three months into my third attempt at transitioning, my ex and I go to an event nearby. And the difference was... Crushing. Before, her and I had no problems at these spaces and events even when we appeared to be, for all intents and purposes, a straight couple.
But this time, there were looks, unease, and a refusal by anyone to talk to us. Well, talk to me, several women talked to her when I went to the restroom. We ended up leaving dejected, and she had to comfort me the rest of the night.
this is unfortunately my standard experience. i try not to go to lesbian bars anymore really if i can help it. at the beginning of my transition when i felt a zeal like i deserved to belong, i tried much harder to acclimate to what is an otherwise hostile and unwelcoming environment for trans women.
Fast forward to around a year ago, at a different, more regular event I'd been to several times by this point. She and I looked, well, like any other metalhead masc/pastel goth femme couple you'd see around. Night and day difference. People talking to both of us all night.
Comments