the thing that drives me nuts is they always have an incredibly limited idea of what “pleasure” even means. it always seems to be about mainly abt edging/orgasm control which are more specific and useful terms imo!!
yes!! it’s a borderline meaningless term, at least the way i’ve seen it used. my hypothesis is that many use it as a general “not a sadist” classification (which itself is kind of missing the point of an s/m match for me)
I think ur onto something re:it being a way to vaguely say “not a sadist”! I think that’s also why it gets on my nerves, it feels like it minimizes the pleasure of every other kind of SM. like isn’t all bdsm about pleasure on some level? im not being tortured for purely practical purposes lol
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