There are many things about chronic illness that are isolating, but I think one I struggle most with is just how many times in my life I've had to rebuild myself.
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My hobbies, my interests, my work (or not work), my passions. Hell I've even had to rebuild my brain and how I interact with it. And it leaves me feeling like an alien around other people more often than not.
I think it's why so many of the standard "getting to know you" conversations feel so strange to me. The questions around what you do for work and fun and on the weekend. Because if I define myself by what I currently do, it's such a small piece of who I am that can currently be expressed.
And most people look at my history scattered with so many of those different facets and see me as flighty and uncommitted. That I don't know who I am or what I want.
But I look at that and see the threads that run through me picking up the pieces. I see resilience as I find accessible expressions.
But it definitely doesn't make for ease in finding relationships (friendship or romantic) when so much of what most people are looking for are things like shared hobbies and interests and goals and things to do together.
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But I look at that and see the threads that run through me picking up the pieces. I see resilience as I find accessible expressions.