This was a hard fucking truth I was never prepared for. AFAB people are trained to smile at strangers, and I always have as a way of acknowledgement or greeting. And I will *never* forget the first time my smile was greeted with downcast eyes and avoidance. I haven't been the same since. - ThreadSky

About ThreadSky

itsyaboijordaan.bsky.social • 15 days ago

This was a hard fucking truth I was never prepared for. AFAB people are trained to smile at strangers, and I always have as a way of acknowledgement or greeting. And I will *never* forget the first time my smile was greeted with downcast eyes and avoidance. I haven't been the same since.

Reposted from Dan Ximenes

This and

Comments

magpie.tips•15 days ago

I think about this post *so much*

ouinne.bsky.social•15 days ago

It in no way excuses it but I’m thinking now about how when men are treated kindly they immediately assume it’s sexual because that seems to be the only context in which they understand affection.

magpie.tips•15 days ago

Yeah, this perspective was really eye opening for me!

itsyaboijordaan.bsky.social•15 days ago

Straight cis men. This conversation is about nuance. Specificity is a must.

magpie.tips•15 days ago

On reading this my mind does go to the way some gay cis men push sexual boundaries with women, which is still different but feels like it comes from the same experience pushing them in a different direction

magpie.tips•15 days ago

But I'm just sitting down with my coffee and thinking out loud here

itsyaboijordaan.bsky.social•15 days ago

Hm. This feels like a whole other beast, imo. Part internalized "I'm gay, my whole personality is sex" and another part over-familiarity with a twist of "I'm gay and therefore safe and not a predator"

If any of that makes sense.

magpie.tips•15 days ago

It does, I think where I'm catching is that just like the affection example, these guys also go straight to sex... Just not trying to have it. The first threshold of intimacy with a woman is still sex? Which to me feels like it could come from that same socialization.

Posting Rules

Be respectful to others
No spam or self-promotion
Stay on topic
Follow Bluesky's terms of service

Comments

Posting Rules

Reply