I always get asked why I grew my hair so long despite how much trouble it gives me as a disabled person The answer is multifactorial however the biggest reason is that it helps me overcome some of my trauma /🧵1 #cptsdrecovery #hair #longhair #nativeamericanhair #identity #nonbinary #spoonie - ThreadSky

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spoonfaeoli.bsky.social • 13 days ago

I always get asked why I grew my hair so long despite how much trouble it gives me as a disabled person

The answer is multifactorial however the biggest reason is that it helps me overcome some of my trauma /🧵1

#cptsdrecovery #hair #longhair #nativeamericanhair #identity #nonbinary #spoonie

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traceyleewrites.bsky.social•13 days ago

Mine is because going to a hairdresser is exhausting, I lack the executive function to make appointments, I get worried over spending the money on myself and social anxiety makes me want to hide 🫣

spoonfaeoli.bsky.social•13 days ago

/2 My mother forced me from a young age to keep short hair. At 9 years old she braided my hair one morning and chopped it off (I later found the braid hidden in the cupboard years later.)

spoonfaeoli.bsky.social•13 days ago

/3 Every time I started growing it out it'd get chopped off. She was a hair dresser and found it "an insult" for me to get haircuts elsewhere.
When I became more autonomous in adulthood it was ingrained in me that long hair on fat people was unattractive.

.

spoonfaeoli.bsky.social•13 days ago

/4 I started growing it out two years before I escaped her control. By the time I was no-contact, it was to my bum.
It's heavy, difficult, gets damaged and is hard to care for.
Cutting it off would make my life easier.
Or would it?

spoonfaeoli.bsky.social•13 days ago

/5 It gives me the emotional and mental stamina to exist in this dystopian hellscape.

Every time I trim the damage I feel like I'm trimming a bit of her control.

spoonfaeoli.bsky.social•13 days ago

/6 Native Americans believe our memories and experiences are stored in our hair. Maybe that's why I was a robot when it was short but started gaining control back as I grew it out.

Finding out I'm of Blackfoot and Métis heritage reinforced this belief.

#reconnectingnative #cptsd

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