Even if this "get better a little more" innocently refers to a few weeks, it still shattered someone's expectations in a CRUEL way. I sincerely felt driven to madness, and I left there desolate without even getting to talk to the psychiatrist.
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To be honest, I don't even feel like GOING BACK TO CASULO!! Everything is an illusion. A lie. It seems that no one from SESPA or the Government of Pará really cares about the transgender population. We have to accept everything silently and pretend that everything is fine!
How can one stabilize after going through all the necessary consultations at UREDIPE, having my data lost, restarting the count at Casulo, having yet another year of regular follow-up, and finally, after all this time, being referred, only to be told that I "need to stabilize" first????
It's unfeasible. I don't deny the need for psychiatric and psychological care. I don't deny that this goes beyond my gender identity; I talk openly about it every day, I know I'm neurodivergent.
The question is, don't neurodivergent individuals have the right to have surgery as well??? After all, it's dysphoria that's inflaming a mental health condition I already have!!?
I won't allow myself to be silenced or buried by cisgender norms. I will fight for my surgery, by any means it may come.
I KNOW I'm neurodivergent, but I don't have a diagnosis because the psychiatry team doesn't give us diagnoses easily, but it's always easy to incapacitate us and say that we need to "recover from the crisis" before addressing the root cause of the damn crisis.
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I won't allow myself to be silenced or buried by cisgender norms. I will fight for my surgery, by any means it may come.