At a dinner party last night with six well-educated, upper middle class people in suburban Philadelphia, not one of us could think of a federal employee we know (excluding postal carrier). This surprised me, as I grew up in a U.S. Forest Service family. Is this an unusual experience outside of DC?

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Anecdotally, yes, I think it's unusual (all the fed employees, at least one now former, in my extended circle are not in DC) but also statistically 80% of the 2 million+ fed workers live outside the DC area https://ourpublicservice.org/fed-figures/beyond-the-capital-the-federal-workforce-outside-the-d-c-area/#:~:text=Federal%20Employment%20by%20State,largest%20populations%20of%20federal%20employees.
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Interesting to see this trust in government survey this group compiled a few years back -- lots of warning signs in here: https://ourpublicservice.org/publications/trust-in-government/
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The PPS folks say an Oct 2021 survey found 32% of American adults said they knew a current or former federal employee. Trust in govt was 13% higher among those who had that connection.
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That's why I was surprised that none of us knew a federal employee -- someone, from whom, we could better understand what the current situation feels like. I'm wondering if cultural change has happened or we're just anomalies (on vacation and out-of-the-mold story ideas occur to me!)
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I think it depends on location? In San Diego, we have many military bases, and a VA system, so it's more likely that someone in your social circle works for one of those places.
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That’s because people
who are not DC bureaucrats work for the Federal Government in labs, colleges, emergencies and other entities that people do not realize have a crucial federal roll in their states.
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