the fact that my parents' abuse of me was so absurdly over the top it makes me seem crazy is extremely upsetting to me because they absolutely can and have used the mental health distress I justifiably experience from telling them they harmed me to make the case I'm crazy - ThreadSky

eleanor.lockhart.contact • 12 days ago

the fact that my parents' abuse of me was so absurdly over the top it makes me seem crazy is extremely upsetting to me because they absolutely can and have used the mental health distress I justifiably experience from telling them they harmed me to make the case I'm crazy

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cynlynn3.bsky.social•12 days ago

In psychology a person who is abused by people with mental health issues and addictions, etc., is called the “identified patient,” because the scapegoat/victim naturally is traumatized by the cruel treatment… the callous abusers don’t take responsibility for it… they say we exaggerate and are crazy

amusedtoo.bsky.social•12 days ago

Your experience is common among a certain type of abuser. In part they know they are lying but pride is more important than their relationship with you & in part they convince themselves of their own lies.
The best you can do is find family among good friends & walk away. They are crazy makers.

lacrunk.bsky.social•12 days ago

your parents were the fuckin' Trial

eleanor.lockhart.contact•12 days ago

Trial?

lacrunk.bsky.social•12 days ago

oh it's nothin it's just a hyperbole I made up on the spot

megcastiel.bsky.social•12 days ago

The sad part is that abuse actually DOES cause mental health issues. So, yeah, abuse probably did make you a little crazy. That doesn't mean the abuse didn't happen.

It's such a BS argument for abusers to make. "I didn't abuse so and so, they're just crazy!" Okay, but how did they get that way?

gellsi.bsky.social•12 days ago

I relate. Hugs. I had to go no contact (with the one parent who resembles what you're saying) to move on and build a healthy life. The feeling crazy or having the abuser(s) turn "you're crazy" or "you're just this way bc trauma" is such a mind-fck. I'm sorry you're dealing with this.

maxinemspaint.bsky.social•12 days ago

I have never related to a post more deeply, even being told by those around me that “I was lying” Because this was like some Looney Tunes, super villain, marvel bullshit. But then I met my husband and I met a social worker who both saw it firsthand and BRUH. HOW TF DID THEY GET AWAY WITH IT!?

soaringsoul23.bsky.social•12 days ago

They cause harm but will not take the responsibility .
You are not crazy and if you can , like I did , cut them off and stay away , they will NEVER own their shit & will only continue to harm you if you are there to harm . I’m sorry you have to deal 😑😞

donpbenz.bsky.social•12 days ago

Sounds like she has already risen above the parents. Nothing so mean as a parents abuse of a child. It’s cyclical. It’s important that she breaks the cycle and finds peace.

tapati.bsky.social•12 days ago

The irony has never escaped me that abusers can give you ptsd and then use the symptoms to convince others that you’re crazy.

angmcc97.bsky.social•12 days ago

Hi. I’m diagnosed C-PTSD due to childhood trauma. I believe we talk about things until we no longer need to talk about them.

Even if you never get the answers you want from your parents - and the odds are not good that you will - we hear you and we’ll keep listening. 🤘

eleanor.lockhart.contact•12 days ago

and because I was homeschooled and they had positions of power and authority in our town, it's my word versus theirs and I sound angry and they sound calm, because they violated me and destroyed my childhood, and I'm accusing them of being bad people, a thing they cannot be definitionally

eleanor.lockhart.contact•12 days ago

they've acknowledged their own parents "made a lot of mistakes" which is code for "abused them even more horrifically and undeniably," and they bring this up to emphasize that they believe that they owed their parents silence on that abuse and I owe them silence about mine

eleanor.lockhart.contact•12 days ago

it's great that if you do something unimaginably horrific and innocence destroying to your kids and then go a few decades without bringing it up, then if they do bring it up they're insane and can be discredited(especially given the "issues" they've always have, that you of course played no part in)

eleanor.lockhart.contact•12 days ago

"hey dad, you know how you graphically described sex acts to me, touched me inappropriately, and beat me? oh, you're bringing up the time I did drugs once and you 'saved my life', I see how this goes"

eleanor.lockhart.contact•12 days ago

it's a pattern too, all of my cousins and second cousins in my dad's family "used to be so promising" and then "had problems" in early adolescence and either got institutionalized and brought back into the (evangelical) fold, or became black sheep of the family

eleanor.lockhart.contact•12 days ago

because of the family disposition to mental illness, which of course is purely genetic (a thing I was told, over and over again, as a kid, that we had a family mental health issue, and it was genetic because "the blank slate model" where parents matter was discredited) noticing patterns = crazy

sentientpotato.bsky.social•11 days ago

literally just like me fr

alazerprincess.bsky.social•12 days ago

they sound like my ex

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