When hypnokinky people say they want to brainwash their partner, they usually mean they want to condition their partner/influence their partner's thoughts and behaviors- and "brainwash" is a hot word we use. Your first resource for them probably shouldn't be information on cults or debunked (cont)
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At least imo it shows you're considerate, having foresight where other people seem too eager to gain control at all costs.