We’ll be talking with Ramit Sethi for the Prof G Pod to discuss his book ‘Money For Couples’. Any questions you'd want to ask him? About how to manage finances with a partner?
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Would love his opinion on separate checking accounts vs. joint checking. My wife and I have done joint for 28 years now. Do couples bill each other with separate accounts?
What is Ramit's perspective on how gender influences investment risk tolerance and how to reconcile a potential imbalance in acceptable risk between spouses?
Been married for twenty years and my wife and I still don’t see eye to eye. She prefers to live in the moment and have a higher quality of life today. It always turns into a fight when I say we need to pull back some to be secure. Tried many approaches but logic never persuades her.
What are the steps for a couple to successfully merge their finances? Specifically, we are two high earning professionals who have good handles on money such that merging finances feels like some loss of autonomy. We are still a year from getting married so we have time to build the groundwork.
Maybe a little too niche but how do couples handle inheritances? We’ve recently gone through it (mine) & will go through it again (his) within the next 10 yrs. I’ve tried to be mindful that we will go through this again & consider it ours, not mine. Some siblings are handling it radically different
An involved discussion because it will have to balance what the previous generation intended, what you want (in terms of comfort, legacy and protection), and the set of circumstances (positive and negative) presented by the next generation and beyond.
Some of your best episodes are when he is on - in a more general sense, I’d like you to hash out your different views on real estate as an investment with each other. It’s a highly emotional subject as Ramit says and you and he have contrasting views. I think it’s at the heart of people’s confusion.
We don’t combine and instead put the same amount monthly into an account for bills, groceries, mortgage, anything that is joint etc. However my, partner is about to not have income for 6 months due to maternity leave.
Given she’s doing the very important job of looking after our son, what are some ways we can approach this? We’re open to a long or short term solution. The way we have currently managed it has been because it was easy and seemed fair, so are open to anything that makes sense.
We combine resources. He is a disabled Vet, so he does bring in some $ but I’m the breadwinner. He doesn’t like to spend money because he feels like he doesn’t contribute much (although I disagree entirely, but that’s a different post). Any tips on transparent budgeting to enable him?
My spouse and I use and enjoy YNAB, but possibly we overdo it. Are there signs when couples perhaps go overboard organizing and talking about their finances?
How do you overdo it? My spouse and I have used YNAB for ~8 years and the total amount of time spent is ~20 minutes per Saturday morning reconciling accounts while enjoying a cup of coffee. The analytics I receive from the ~8 years of spending habits being recorder are super fun! (for a data nerd)
Couples have a wide range of strategies for communicating about money which range from secrecy (all cash is held individually all bills are split) to absolute transparency (joint accounts, open communication). How can couples move towards a more reasonable middle ground?
Canadian personal finance writer Gail Vaz-Oxlade used to talk about "avoid marrying a money moron". What's Ramit's advice for having discussions *before* marriage to identify a money moron before marrying one?
1) I don’t think FAs do a great job of taking the time to understand both parties -one inevitably stops feeling heard.
2) Actuarially, there’s a decent chance the relationship will dissolve- who’s the client?
3) FA more accountable if another FA (or expert trusted by partner) is present
Does each FA get to charge an AUM fee on the total shared assets? Sounds terrible. For the vast majority of couples, the simple answer is to cut the FA and just VTSAX and chill...
No.
For one of the FAs, I would negotiate a flat-fee for a limited scope of work- which could be as little as reading the annual performance report/suggestions and attending the annual meeting.
To points 1 and 2, research from @ellevest.bsky.social shows that after the death of their spouse, the vast majority of women leave their advisors within a year.
Why is this so hard for so many? Either you have a shared vision for where you want your lives to go or you're in for a long road ending in divorce or perpetually disgruntled. You can indulge on occasion and still be responsible. This is a microcosm of society; I want it now and you can't stop me.
I’ve actually been thinking about this a bit. Someone needs to write a book for 50 somethings about what they can do if they don’t have enough savings for retirement. It’s always about young people and it’s start saving now. Not very helpful to older people.
Would assume it would be kind of a tough book to write to be honest. The secret for young people is time for compounding. Sure there are things people of any age can do to help, but writing a book about taking potentially excessive risk to “catch up” probably wouldn’t be very popular.
Here’s one, I’m interested in personal finance so I manage our investments, daily budgeting and bill paying. My partner is uninterested in this aspect of our lives. What’s the minimum she should know, to be able to handle our finances if I pass unexpectedly? We’re in our early 60’s. Thanks Prof G!
I do what you do but I’m the female spouse, haven’t worked for
awhile (for an employer) and became very interested in finance
& investing ~ 15-20 yrs ago. Write down passwords & store securely in more than one place.
I’d also consider a FA if you don’t have, at least a fee only that you also get to know so she has some help. We have one who is helpful in many areas & we bounce things off each other so it’s a synergistic relationship
& I feel worth paying for his services
Referrals from family & good friends would b my 1st suggestion (mine was my father’s, now retired & I thankfully liked his replacement)..There r also private financial groups on FB where u can inquire & u could ask your bank/brokerage. Some employer retirement plans offer, many times complimentary
4th quarter considerations. What are your recommendations regarding wills, estate planning, directives, etc. What do you recommend people do to make sure hard earned assets and soft assets (end of life) play out the way people want them to play out; when the game is over / when things go south?
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2) Actuarially, there’s a decent chance the relationship will dissolve- who’s the client?
3) FA more accountable if another FA (or expert trusted by partner) is present
For one of the FAs, I would negotiate a flat-fee for a limited scope of work- which could be as little as reading the annual performance report/suggestions and attending the annual meeting.
Do they have research on what happens after divorce?
awhile (for an employer) and became very interested in finance
& investing ~ 15-20 yrs ago. Write down passwords & store securely in more than one place.
& I feel worth paying for his services
They both have just graduated from medical school and about to start their internships. So their prospects are good.
What advice would you give him/them? Thanks!