Important Life Update 1/6
I spent the last few days in the hospital because my mental health was in the absolute gutter. It was hard because my guilt and shame was too strong. I missed people too much. I beat myself because of it. I think about what I learned there.
I spent the last few days in the hospital because my mental health was in the absolute gutter. It was hard because my guilt and shame was too strong. I missed people too much. I beat myself because of it. I think about what I learned there.
Comments
How I shouldn't beat myself up for what I did. Some things may never be the same. However, that doesn't mean things can't be good in the present. I guess I was trying so hard to hold onto something, when all I needed to do was let go.
Perhaps new people will come in my life, I'll form new relationships. Either way, I shouldn't have to feel the need to be punished because of what I did. Doesn't mean what I did was okay, just that I don't have to constantly punish myself for it.
I will admit, I will miss the way things were before. It's going to hurt for a while, knowing it may never come. To know that the people I were once close to may never come back. It still hurts me too much to think about. I really do hope they will be okay though.
I really do want to get better in the long run. It's just going to take a lot of time. Part of me does hope that one day, I will get to reunite with the people that were once close to me. Or maybe had the relationship I had previously again. It's a stretch, but not impossible.
Either way, I just need to decompress. I want to continue with my normal life again. It'll take time, but I think I can get there, someday.