“I have a lot of problems with social anxiety—“ “REALLY? It doesn’t seem like it at all!” “uh. Thanks. I think.” I guess it’s only a problem if troubles or inconveniences anyone *else*. If I’m miserable? Living in a tunnel of fear? Not relevant, I suppose. Listen, I know people say this to be […] - ThreadSky

futurebird.sauropods.win.ap.brid.gy • 1 day ago

“I have a lot of problems with social anxiety—“
“REALLY? It doesn’t seem like it at all!”
“uh. Thanks. I think.”

I guess it’s only a problem if troubles or inconveniences anyone *else*. If I’m miserable? Living in a tunnel of fear? Not relevant, I suppose.

Listen, I know people say this to be […]

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BernieDoesIt.mstdn.social.ap.brid.gy•19 hours ago

@futurebird This is what it's like being told my autism is "mild" because I'm able to eke through what capitalism forces me to do. As long as my challenges don't inconvenience others, they must not be a big deal.

#ActuallyAutistic

futurebird.sauropods.win.ap.brid.gy•1 day ago

I guess the precise point here is when I talk about something that is making my life very difficult I’m not bringing it up because I want to be reassured that I seem normal or whatever. I want to not be trapped in anxiety hell, sometimes other people can do little things that help a lot to make […]

dedicto.zeroes.ca.ap.brid.gy•9 hours ago

@futurebird This sounds exactly like the kind of responses #autistics get when they talk about #masking. They generally aren't happy to be told how good they are at it, when doing it at all, even successfully, is a tremendous strain. Sometimes ESPECIALLY when it's most successful.

So am I […]

Lyle.cville.online.ap.brid.gy•1 day ago

@futurebird “My head is full of bats and I don’t like it!” “Really? You act just like a person whose head is not full of bats. Maybe you are exaggerating?” Bats: 🦇

futurebird.sauropods.win.ap.brid.gy•1 day ago

some responses I like better are:

“do you know what seems to cause it?”

“how do you manage it so well, It’s not something I would have noticed if you didn’t bring it up”

“That sounds really stressful”

“Is something making it worse as of late?”

futurebird.sauropods.win.ap.brid.gy•1 day ago

It’s hard to go wrong with simply acknowledging that what another person feels is real. Saying things like “that sounds awful” can feel like not solving the problem but saying this kind of thing solves the problem of a person feeling like no one has even the smallest idea what they are going […]

hakona.im.alstadheim.no.ap.brid.gy•1 day ago

@futurebird Uffda!

benh.mastodon.scot.ap.brid.gy•1 day ago

@futurebird

Being able to say that out loud
With someone in earshot
Sound like a big achievement

GreenSkyOverMe.ohai.social.ap.brid.gy•1 day ago

@futurebird Luckily here in Europe being extrovert is less of a norm

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