a problem i’m realizing is that it’s hard for me to tell when i’m putting on a persona vs when i’m being me, but the personas are also me, in a way. that’s the nature of the beast i suppose. it’s hard to trust that feelings are permanent but perhaps that’s just residual depression from recent events
i still truly believe that following the plurality thread wasn’t really productive for me but i also still need to figure out how to deal with feeling like im a different person sometimes
i’m wondering if the feeling like im a different person is moments of instinctual fawning that i don’t realize is happening. but who am i even fawning to? how do i truly remove the subconscious analyzing of every situation to figure out what the “correct” action is and just act based on my feelings?
like at what point does that begin just being my personality? i don’t want that to be my personality, but i don’t know how to change it. i feel like i’ve made a lot of progress in recent weeks, but it definitely is still happening & i only realize it after the fact
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