The most important thing to remember about kink is that it's a series of tools through which various fantasies are engaged with, not the fantasies themselves.
Non/dub con kink does not fulfill the fantasy of rape or being raped, it fulfills the fantasy of pleasure, removed from the shame of desire
Non/dub con kink does not fulfill the fantasy of rape or being raped, it fulfills the fantasy of pleasure, removed from the shame of desire
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It's about understanding that sex is not just the physical act of genital stimulation, but the physical exploration of the same ideas.
Sex as an interpersonal connection, as a source of mental, emotional, and physical stimulation, as an expression of desire and the satisfaction thereof can exist in almost any form.
It's like art. Everything is and isn't sex.
The idea that everything was secretly sexual and therefore analogous to physical intercourse used to cause me constant distress. The idea that things were all just metaphors for sex terrified and disgusted me, due to my trauma.
And in many instances, sex has nothing to do with genitals at all, but it all gets at those same ideas.
It's just one more set of tools to explore and experience the various complexities of human emotion and the human experience.
That helped me more than anything