How do you make someone understand how it feels to be deadnamed? How do you make someone understand how it feels when your pronouns are not used? How do you make someone understand how it feels to have to use a bathroom that doesn’t represent your gender identity? 1/4 - ThreadSky

msdenises11.bsky.social • 8 days ago

How do you make someone understand how it feels to be deadnamed?

How do you make someone understand how it feels when your pronouns are not used?

How do you make someone understand how it feels to have to use a bathroom that doesn’t represent your gender identity?

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tnation.bsky.social•8 days ago

My daughter is downright livid if we call her by her full first name. She prefers the nickname we gave her. How is that any different than a trans person requesting a different name? No teacher, doctor, nurse, babysitter, boss, professor, colleague, Congressman has ever had a problem using it.

lindygryf.bsky.social•8 days ago

I remember hearing about a kid in a wheelchair who got all the state congresspeople to try out a wheelchair for a day, and they were surprised to experience the difficulties first hand. Tough to do for deadnames and pronouns, but same type of idea to promote empathy.

msdenises11.bsky.social•8 days ago

Empathy seems to be hard to teach.

msdenises11.bsky.social•8 days ago

How do you make someone understand how it feels to be treated as if you are less than others?

I don’t personally know how it feels. I see the hurt and pain on my loved ones’ faces when they feel this way and it breaks my heart.

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msdenises11.bsky.social•8 days ago

It makes me want to shake anyone who makes them feel this pain and scream “Why can’t you understand? Have you no heart, no empathy? How can you just go about your day when your actions make someone hurt like this?”

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msdenises11.bsky.social•8 days ago

I don’t know how the world changes when people can’t understand how they make others feel.

I guess as long as it is a lack of understanding, there is hope that someday they will understand and things will change.

Maybe sharing experiences is how we try to make them understand.

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jeezus-mcgeezus.bsky.social•8 days ago

I once told a boss we needed to put in gender neutral bathrooms and that I had a friend I wanted to recruit who was non-binary, but I wouldn’t until they had a place they could use the bathroom. He said to me, “Have you *asked* if this person won’t apply because of the bathrooms?” And I said 1/

msdenises11.bsky.social•8 days ago

Thank you for sharing this. You are a great advocate for your friend. Trying to get someone to understand is frustrating but we do have to keep trying.

jeezus-mcgeezus.bsky.social•8 days ago

“No and I’m not going to.” He continued to act confused. I said to him, “Imagine you went in to an interview for a new job and they only had women’s bathrooms. How would you feel?” He seemed bewildered. “Not very welcome.” But within three minutes he had shaken it off and again was saying it just 2/

jeezus-mcgeezus.bsky.social•8 days ago

Couldn’t be a factor in recruiting and I should ask my friend anyway. This is not the first person I have walked into empathy against their will, and then actively watched them refuse to integrate the information and carry on as if they’d never heard it. Sometimes it’s a lack of curiosity, or a 3/

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