I read something years ago, it might have been Word Slut, that I keep wanting to directly quote but haven't found it again. It said that even our language around sex and intimacy has been heavily influenced by the patriarchy and heteronormative penetrative sex with a penis focus.
That is true. Most of the language of penetrative sex leans on violent phrasings.
I know my writing is very heteronormative. Other than my NB thread, my attempts otherwise have always felt disingenuous. Like I'm queer-baiting or something.
Yes! I like "you and I" pronouns because they're genderless, but I don't like how describing what "you" do takes away agency and how "you" feel can ring false or break immersion if it's not accurate for the reader.
Yes. As a reader & writer I have to accept that somethings won't land. Featured kinks, tone, POV, or just a mood. Often it's the honorific or pet names that take me out of a story.
Or situational things: Positions. That floor cannot be clean. Please don't leave that for the janitorial services.
The struggle is real. I don't write much because I get hung up on all of that. I shy away in fear of alienating anyone. That's why, when I do, I stick to microfiction where I can get away with a lot, or just represent myself and leave it as a question if the reader is receptive.
Comments
I know my writing is very heteronormative. Other than my NB thread, my attempts otherwise have always felt disingenuous. Like I'm queer-baiting or something.
Ooo this one was non-gendered! Yay!
Or situational things: Positions. That floor cannot be clean. Please don't leave that for the janitorial services.