Post an Onion headline that lives in your head rent-free theonion.com/correct-theo... - ThreadSky

pjwm.bsky.social•88 days ago

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pjwm.bsky.social•88 days ago

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pjwm.bsky.social•88 days ago

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docblues.bsky.social•88 days ago

Post an Onion headline that lives in your head rent-free

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josuehurtado.bsky.social•88 days ago

https://theonion.com/god-angrily-clarifies-dont-kill-rule-1819566178/

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upspatrick.bsky.social•88 days ago

https://theonion.com/russian-television-scores-hit-with-new-game-show-who-wa-1819565399/

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scottgalupo.bsky.social•88 days ago

https://theonion.com/zz-top-reveals-meaning-behind-classic-song-legs-1819577979/

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spaceshipfrick.bsky.social•87 days ago

This is one I hadn't seen and the headline alone got me to actually laugh out loud haha.

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mikekling.bsky.social•87 days ago

This will always be my favorite

https://theonion.com/sumerians-look-on-in-confusion-as-god-creates-world-1819571221/

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trashpandamario.bsky.social•88 days ago

There was one that I can't find that I remember as "Area man needs a god damn minute"

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johnbcole.com•88 days ago

"Soviet Space Program Ahead in Dog-Killing Race" from one of the page-a-day calendars.

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susiedaytona.bsky.social•88 days ago

This is my all-time favorite because of how many people fell for it

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nathanjw.bsky.social•88 days ago

Post an Onion headline that lives in your head rent-free

https://theonion.com/jenna-bushs-federally-protected-wetlands-now-open-for-p-1819587020/

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takadanobaba.bsky.social•87 days ago

https://theonion.com/man-says-fuck-it-eats-lunch-at-10-58-a-m-1819574888/

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johndbro1.bsky.social•87 days ago

https://theonion.com/local-lutheran-minister-loves-to-fuck-his-wife-1819564552/

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jedgeco.bsky.social•87 days ago

https://theonion.com/butterfly-fuck-swing-filled-with-junk-mail-1819569227/

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magneticsara.bsky.social•88 days ago

https://theonion.com/women-why-dont-they-lose-some-weight-1819586763/

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diehard3.bsky.social•87 days ago

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vax-o-licious.bsky.social•88 days ago

Almost 30 years after it was published (before the Onion went online) this is still cracking me up: https://www.ling.upenn.edu/~beatrice/humor/clinton-deploys-vowels.html

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mmparsons.bsky.social•88 days ago

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sarcasmorator.bsky.social•88 days ago

All-timer

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mojavemidnights.bsky.social•88 days ago

this one lives rent free in my head because I read and loved it as a teenager, and then discovered in adulthood that this is pretty much how most businesses are actually run

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snythe.bsky.social•88 days ago

https://theonion.com/why-do-all-these-homosexuals-keep-sucking-my-cock-1819583529/

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katebaldwin.bsky.social•88 days ago

https://theonion.com/god-re-floods-middle-east-1819566424/

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lukasneville.com•88 days ago

this trilogy

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nealbarnett.bsky.social•88 days ago

https://theonion.com/potential-employee-uprising-quelled-with-free-pizza-1819569798/?utm_campaign=The+Onion&utm_content=1611966606&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_source=facebook

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willmasonmusic.com•88 days ago

so many to choose but this is the one that I quote the most:
https://theonion.com/markets-in-turmoil-as-price-of-money-skyrockets-to-90-1819575197/

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lasmitty.bsky.social•88 days ago

https://theonion.com/i-fucked-my-way-into-this-mess-and-ill-fuck-my-way-out-1819584315/

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rouleau36.bsky.social•87 days ago

https://theonion.com/vinyl-wood-floor-transports-woman-from-supermarket-into-1847026205/

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annhedonia.bsky.social•87 days ago

"No," Says God

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grytnas.bsky.social•87 days ago

Standard deviation not enough for peverted statistician

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pmc905.bsky.social•88 days ago

God Answers Prayers of Paralyzed Little Boy; Says ‘No’

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jedgeco.bsky.social•87 days ago

https://theonion.com/orgy-a-logistical-nightmare-1819566411/

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natemjensen.bsky.social•88 days ago

https://theonion.com/owls-are-assholes-1819586357/

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nightcourtliker.bsky.social•88 days ago

this is the one

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natemjensen.bsky.social•87 days ago

I’m a fan of this one too.
https://theonion.com/world-death-rate-holding-steady-at-100-percent-1819564171/

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nightcourtliker.bsky.social•87 days ago

This one went double platinum with smokers back in the day

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nightcourtliker.bsky.social•87 days ago

My all time second fav:

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johnnowicki.bsky.social•82 days ago

https://theonion.com/amish-give-up-1819563928/

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uslongtorso.bsky.social•88 days ago

https://theonion.com/bill-gates-grants-self-18-dexterity-20-charisma-1819564339/

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uslongtorso.bsky.social•88 days ago

"Experts place him above Fox’s Rupert Murdoch and Disney’s Michael Eisner, both of whom hold over 1.2 million hit points. Gates is also rumored to be in possession of a bag of holding containing one terabyte of information, as well as over 100 billion gold and silver pieces."

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renaissancealf.bsky.social•87 days ago

https://theonion.com/ted-cruz-dressed-for-campaign-rally-by-swarm-of-loyal-v-1819578840/

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renaissancealf.bsky.social•87 days ago

https://theonion.com/obama-help-us-destroy-jesus-and-start-a-new-age-of-lib-1819573867/

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tobyvogel.bsky.social•88 days ago

"Clinton deploys vowels to Bosnia" (quoting from memory here)

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fbieber.bsky.social•88 days ago

Same thought here

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emilbih.bsky.social•87 days ago

We don’t even lack vowels.

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rollonyouchairs.bsky.social•88 days ago

https://bsky.app/profile/jenxjen.bsky.social/post/3lcbmcqt3cc2q

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adrian-h-sophia.bsky.social•87 days ago

Yes, I tried it, got healthy again and have never looked back.

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jenxjen.bsky.social•88 days ago

Close second is Operation Vowel Storm but it's so old I can only find screen shots on third-party sites. Maybe @bencollins.bsky.social has a secret archive planned?