I had a chance to speak with her not long before her passing and while she seemed cheerful and loving just as always, I could tell she knew it might be her last conversation. As much as I didn't want it to be a "goodbye", I think it would have hurt far more if I didn't get such a chance to talk. - ThreadSky

brorekord.bsky.social • 34 days ago

I had a chance to speak with her not long before her passing and while she seemed cheerful and loving just as always, I could tell she knew it might be her last conversation. As much as I didn't want it to be a "goodbye", I think it would have hurt far more if I didn't get such a chance to talk.

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brorekord.bsky.social•34 days ago

Over the past 2 years Susie and I had become very close, messaging each other almost daily, sharing excitement about upcoming games, gifting art to one another and expressing our love for each other. I couldn't exactly pinpoint when but we had gone from friends to boyfriend and girlfriend.

brorekord.bsky.social•34 days ago

It wasn't exactly public, I was always just too shy to say something or make some kind of announcement. Besides I was more than content to just spend time with her, keeping it between us. When it came to supporting each other, we would talk through it, lending an ear whenever needed.

brorekord.bsky.social•34 days ago

So it felt odd when towards the end of January that she had become slightly more distant. She had said she would be unreachable due to her volunteer work and while it is very much like her to do such volunteering, I didn't think it would mean she couldn't respond to any messages whatsoever.

brorekord.bsky.social•34 days ago

However several days later she had confessed that she was struggling with sickness, that she was unable to sleep and suffering coughing fits all while under mental strain. She didn't want me to worry initially so she had hidden the truth but had then felt guilty about hiding it.

brorekord.bsky.social•34 days ago

From then her messages became very sparce, I didn't wish to overwhelm her with 10+ discord notifications at once but I also wished to speak with her again. I could only hope she would recover but I had an awful feeling that this sickness was the lung cancer she had briefly mentioned in the past.

brorekord.bsky.social•34 days ago

We spoke again further into february, getting further into some of her struggles and sharing a moment with each other on Valentine's day.
her next reply wasn't until March when she expressed that her life was spiralling and that I should "find someone else to replace [her]" as if to give up on her.

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