Today’s edition of Why Haven’t You Subscribed to the Print Edition of @theonion.com yet: every single ad in the latest issue is a lil shower of pee on Mr Roll Of Nickels. Two faves: - ThreadSky

hels.bsky.social • 4 days ago

Today’s edition of Why Haven’t You Subscribed to the Print Edition of @theonion.com yet: every single ad in the latest issue is a lil shower of pee on Mr Roll Of Nickels. Two faves:

1 / 2

Comments

tomjoad-og-antifa.bsky.social•4 days ago

So awesome

julymkirkpatrick.bsky.social•3 days ago

I can now feel the news with my fingertips. For twelve dollars a month. I am doing my duty: Are you?

mambosauce.bsky.social•4 days ago

Onion needs to do a collab of in-game ads for the cyberpunk sequel

zedthered.bsky.social•4 days ago

Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

adjulesting.bsky.social•3 days ago

Elon Musk has done irreparable damage to the reputation of ketamine.

adlangx.bsky.social•4 days ago

"Boer's Pride" That's fucking hilarious

zonelero.bsky.social•3 days ago

Bro, I didn’t even know the onion did print. How much is it?

sracristina.bsky.social•3 days ago

Accurate horoscopes too!

rickeryx2.bsky.social•4 days ago

You searched for Vaccines - Mad In America
https://www.madinamerica.com/?s=Vaccines+

You searched for Donald Trump Crimes Against Humanity - Mad In America
https://www.madinamerica.com/?s=Donald+Trump+Crimes+Against+Humanity+

sianihedgehog.bsky.social•4 days ago

Actually dying at Boer's Pride ketamine

hels.bsky.social•4 days ago

That was the one that really got me

barnum.bsky.social•3 days ago

**Cybertarp** did it for me

hels.bsky.social•3 days ago

The heavy metal font 💀

deezleelzeeb.bsky.social•3 days ago

Can I get the print version in Australia!? 🥲

anbock.bsky.social•4 days ago

They're all perfect. Long live @theonion.com

refriedwater.bsky.social•3 days ago

One Thousand Year Onion.

hels.bsky.social•4 days ago

Fine I’ll admit it: I’m ass-kissing the Onion in hopes that they’ll hire me as their restaurant critic

anotherben.bsky.social•4 days ago

You can’t make it happen unless you give this guy half a cookie and a piece of unknown to him internet folklore.

@bencollins.bsky.social

Like a bridge troll, but with far better storytelling skills.

hels.bsky.social•4 days ago

They sent me an Onion tote bag not long ago and then the place where I stored the tote bag suddenly had a lot of ants so I wonder sometimes if the Onion intentionally infested my home with ants

hels.bsky.social•4 days ago

Can’t make me stop loving them though

hels.bsky.social•4 days ago

I like how this single page efficiently captures the essence of both White Sox fans and Neuralink

hels.bsky.social•4 days ago

(I’m from the South Side and am a lifelong White Sox fan and I do indeed have a Polish in my mouth as I type this)

hamhock.bsky.social•4 days ago

Would you ever consider writing a review of White Sox ballpark food? (disclaimer: you may have already done this and I'm unaware of it)

hels.bsky.social•4 days ago

I haven’t but I would

holir.bsky.social•4 days ago

mmmm smoky marjoram filled kirlbasa.

holir.bsky.social•4 days ago

*kielbasa

elsnacktator.bsky.social•4 days ago

I kind of prefer kirlbasa and will now be calling them that.

cubedweller.bsky.social•4 days ago

Authentic! Sounds like you got one in yer mouth

itsbeka.bsky.social•4 days ago

White Sox!

tcarmody.bsky.social•3 days ago

fuck yeah hels

johncluverius.bsky.social•4 days ago

"Cafe Milano Fails Health Inspection for Allowing RFK Jr. to Dine"

athousandpicnics.net•3 days ago

Because I am afraid of online being delivered to my doorstep, whether it’s satire that bodies our collective discourse, or black bag DOGE agents wanting to know why I lol’d at a meta post eight years ago