I've disclosed by C-PTSD in depth before and how trauma brain can not respond logically to threats. It responds to every potential threat as if it is a life threatening certainty. It disables your ability to respond effectively and freezes you. I earned it surviving terminal illness. - ThreadSky

crowpotkin.bsky.social • 48 days ago

I've disclosed by C-PTSD in depth before and how trauma brain can not respond logically to threats. It responds to every potential threat as if it is a life threatening certainty.

It disables your ability to respond effectively and freezes you. I earned it surviving terminal illness.

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crowpotkin.bsky.social•48 days ago

For five and half years, I've lived every day with some degree of mortal terror every time something bad happens. I can't control it, even when I know the danger isn't realistic. I might know that internally, but my bodies threat response still jumps to 11. Agoraphobia doesn't help, nor does autism.

crowpotkin.bsky.social•48 days ago

I say that to circle around to 4/20. The day Donald Trump was going to celebrate Hitler's birthday by invoking the insurrection act and declaring nationwide martial law.

I tried to avoid this rumor because I knew it was B.S. and conspiratorial thinking. But I couldn't fully avoid the infohazard.

crowpotkin.bsky.social•48 days ago

I knew, I KNEW, logistically, this was not a possible move. There aren't enough soldiers, the U.S. is too big, there weren't national guard call ups, OSINT channels weren't posting vids of APCs or IFVs rolling into cities in anticipation. I knew it would look like RU's mobilization and it didn't.

crowpotkin.bsky.social•48 days ago

But it didn't matter. Knowing the rumor was there was enough and I spent all of April in a state of constant terror until the date came and went. Even though I KNEW it was impossible, my endocrine system didn't.

I woke up on 4/21 not to martial law, but intense pain in my neck.

crowpotkin.bsky.social•48 days ago

The pain was an 8 on a 1-10 and I had to leave work early. My neck and shoulders burned and the bones cracked when I turned my head. I was in agony but I thought I slept wrong.

Until it lasted into Wednesday and I made an appointment with a chiropractor. I saw them Monday with no success.

crowpotkin.bsky.social•48 days ago

I did see a real doc on Tuesday and got diagnosed with trapezius myalgia. I was literally so stressed for so long that the stress strained/tore my trapezius muscles. Recovery may be a few weeks to a few months. As for now, I'm on muscle relaxers and OTC pain relievers.

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