Chip you gotta stop resonating with me so hard you’re making me confront the feelings I try to push awayyy /j
Really tho thank you so much for making this video. I noticed a few years ago I had built myself into a fortified lonely bunker and have been actively trying to break out ever since
The whole thing about "observing conversations like an alien" really strikes a chord with me!
I often feel myself seen as a bystander to conversations and, to this day, struggle with starting conversations myself, let alone doing smalltalk. It's gotten better, but it's an uphill battle.
I still find myself struggling with coming up a reply or follow-up to someone in a 1-on-1 conversation - and then just feel guilty about not responding at all x-x
Even in groups I have my moments of just staying silent until they approach me again, otherwise I might stay mute forever
I have no idea where I'd be in terms of friendships if it weren't for them carrying conversations, approaching me first and be genuinely interested in me as a person. Years of being bullied at school tanked my self-confidence to the point that I just considered myself nothing but boring.
It certainly makes me value my friends a lot, for liking the awkward and reserved introvert I tend to be. Keeping this in mind does help healing the wounds of my past, and pushing me to become better and open up more where I can.
Really appreciate you making this video, thank you! ^w^
The biggest thing that has helped me not feel too lonely is sitting in calls with friends as we all do our own thing. However, reaching out to connect with new friends is terribly daunting.
Great video. 💚
Im curious about that niche song playlist. My love of select powermetal songs confuse friends.
Admittedly I felt kinda expected to turn this into a positive message overall, and there's quite a few things i didn't get to talk about due to time constraints, but anyway, here's a video about stuff that's been on my mind for a while
I can also very much relate to the niche music problem D:
Like I have a designated playlist with music my friends like, so if they were to ask me to turn on music, I have something to play that they know >.<
I understand that it hinders talking about music (I tried it before, it was both funny and somewhat weird to explain) but don‘t feel ashamed for you taste. I‘d love to listen to other peoples music, even though it is niche music like VGM or small creators or smth. :)
On the music thing, if you just say on the internet what your music tastes are and what songs you love you are bound to find SOMEONE with your taste, and maybe you'll get some other people to look into what you're listening to and find that they love it too
I have worked as a community manager in the online space and am thus familiar with the process of making friends online. Even creating a doc to help people. Dms are open for more context but tl;dr: have interests, be aware of events in your area, ask someone a question, and answer it after they do
Agreeing with Sami. Talk about your music tastes, or things that interest you! Some people love reading or listening to a ramble about something someone is passionate about! (I know I do! So I'd love to hear about your fav music and games!)
What's Professor Layton like?
Tips are kinda hard to think of. Honestly if you (General you as in you who's reading this) have a friend group, see if they're okay with quietly hanging out irl or in voice call. I find just being in a call with someone can be comforting
Taking care of yourself is also important. I feel it's a lot harder to talk to people when you've been neglecting yourself. If you're into self care app, I'd recommend Finch. I've been using it for about almost 2 years now
I thought it was a wonderful video, and I'm glad you were willing to talk about your experience! I hope those outside expectations didn't affect you too much. And like you said, you can always make a followup! 💛💙
"Perfection is the thief of joy" and all that
It sounds like you want to do solo things, with company.
A lot of people see it as strange, some people get it, but for some people, me included; It's nice to have to presence of another person without the pressure to talk, or do the same activity.
I will often, in real life, or over a voice call, just vibe with people without it being a super stimulating social interaction. Maybe I'm doing LEGO stuff, while a friend is playing a game, and if we want to talk, we do. If we don't, we just quietly enjoy the comfort of another person being present
just seen the video and honestly i find the video very relatable in many ways
Like i saw the video and just felt like my mind was being read in many parts honestly @w@
I appreciate your vulnerability and honesty. I and many others can relate to this feeling, and in realizing what makes us feel alone, we end up findings ways to connect!
With the nieche ROM hacking stuff I do that I find embaracing to talk about and topics I've been avoiding due to trauma, I've felt more at ease to enter communities that have no idea who I am or what my past works were to find people to meet.
And I avoid talking about myself a lot... I relate alot.
Also being a portuguese person living in Germany but having nobody to talk to IRL is a mood, I've lived here for about 8 years or so and have yet to master the language (I think I've gotten worse too ;w;).
Similarly I've been trying to be more open about what I had done when a chance arises (usually in voice calls), but the moment I'm interrupted I make sure to shut up because my brain goes into "oh no, you overshared" mode.
I also only enjoy playing aingle player games. And everyone seems to be busy all the time making it difficult to meet with friends. Breaking out of my own bubble sometimes feels impossible. But I wont lose hope. Sometime somewhere I'll make new friends and they will be awesome and cool.
Comments
Really tho thank you so much for making this video. I noticed a few years ago I had built myself into a fortified lonely bunker and have been actively trying to break out ever since
I often feel myself seen as a bystander to conversations and, to this day, struggle with starting conversations myself, let alone doing smalltalk. It's gotten better, but it's an uphill battle.
Even in groups I have my moments of just staying silent until they approach me again, otherwise I might stay mute forever
Really appreciate you making this video, thank you! ^w^
Great video. 💚
Im curious about that niche song playlist. My love of select powermetal songs confuse friends.
Like I have a designated playlist with music my friends like, so if they were to ask me to turn on music, I have something to play that they know >.<
And I can‘t describe my music taste at all.
Though I can say, I‘m also very glad to not have a generic music taste, ‘cause I think my playlist is fire :3 even though it‘s really niche-y.
Especially VGM is fire :3
Man, wrote a whole essay
What's Professor Layton like?
kdjsfaklsfh I didn't mean to ramble this much
"Perfection is the thief of joy" and all that
It sounds like you want to do solo things, with company.
A lot of people see it as strange, some people get it, but for some people, me included; It's nice to have to presence of another person without the pressure to talk, or do the same activity.
Like i saw the video and just felt like my mind was being read in many parts honestly @w@
And I avoid talking about myself a lot... I relate alot.