Abusers are, ultimately, the sledgehammers of people. And while sledgehammers can do a lot of damage that may look thoughtfully planned in retrospect, in the moment they are nothing more than a blunt tool of destruction.
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Related when I was freshly broken up with my abuser I had all these “he is damaged because of his childhood” explanations and my parents were like “sometimes people are just dicks” and they were right
Also one of the reasons why abusers are so successful is because most people refuse to believe that succeeding in life is as simple as being willing to lie all the time with no remorse and attribute qualities like intelligence and brilliant analysis to people who are, ultimately, sledgehammers
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