I took FMLA spring semester. But 2023 was awful as well—and the awfulness was centered in my work life. I went through a dark night of the soul with my teaching and WPA work. I had always loved teaching and had confidence in my work, but the events of 2023 led me to become afraid of my students. - ThreadSky

webbsusa.bsky.social • 70 days ago

I took FMLA spring semester. But 2023 was awful as well—and the awfulness was centered in my work life. I went through a dark night of the soul with my teaching and WPA work. I had always loved teaching and had confidence in my work, but the events of 2023 led me to become afraid of my students.

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webbsusa.bsky.social•70 days ago

I was afraid to go into a classroom, and I felt like a fraud when I worked with the TAs. I had always felt like my vulnerability was one of my greatest strengths as a teacher, but during 2023, I became an open wound. It wasn’t good for me or my students.

webbsusa.bsky.social•70 days ago

While FMLA certainly wasn’t a break—far from it!—it did give me emotional distance from work. That distance allowed me to make the decisions that were best for my family and me. At that point, I was pretty much a burned-out husk of who I used to be.

webbsusa.bsky.social•70 days ago

My family was getting whatever was left of me after work. It became clear to me last spring that my family needed more of me than they were getting. They should be getting the best of me, not the rest of me. So, I stepped down. The relief I felt upon doing so was indescribable.

webbsusa.bsky.social•70 days ago

I’ll be on research leave next semester; it was supposed to happen last spring, but I was able to defer it to next semester and take FMLA so I could take care of my husband (and my son, though at the time I didn’t know he was going to need surgery too!). Grateful to my chair, dean, and provost.

webbsusa.bsky.social•70 days ago

They’re the ones who made sure I was able to get FMLA and didn’t have to use my research leave on caretaking. When I return from leave in Fall 2025, I will be “just” a professor again. It will feel weird to not have to think about the TAs and the comp program all the time.

webbsusa.bsky.social•70 days ago

However, I’m looking forward to teaching more and to teaching different classes. I’m excited to teach new things and use some teaching muscles I haven’t had to call on in a long time. I am nervous, of course. I’ve primarily taught grad students since 2018, due to the nature of WPA work.

drbethany.bsky.social•70 days ago

What are your plans for research leave? Can you even picture that yet?

webbsusa.bsky.social•70 days ago

Yes! I will be working on my book that explores the literacies and identities of Appalachians with graduate degrees! I have pieces written that I have presented at conferences over the years, but I need concentrated time to pull everything into a coherent narrative. This leave will give me that.

jovanevery.bsky.social•70 days ago

I’m sorry things got so bad. Enjoy your research leave.

webbsusa.bsky.social•70 days ago

Thanks. WPA work tends to be thankless work even in the best of times, and running a writing program during a pandemic is not an experience I would recommend to anyone.

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