This piece is 🎯 to what I've been experiencing in this moment. - ThreadSky

bajoran-orbison.bsky.social • 2 days ago

This piece is 🎯 to what I've been experiencing in this moment.

My latest: "The more often we have experienced true helplessness, the more likely we are to feel powerless in situations where action is possible. And the more we freeze or flail in response to threats, the more deeply ingrained those responses become."

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bajoran-orbison.bsky.social•2 days ago

2020 did so much damage to my faith in people, and to my capacity to even *be around* people.

I'm not who I was but I feel like I've only gotten farther from who I want to be.

The resulting combination of resentment and isolation is making it really difficult to live my values now.

bajoran-orbison.bsky.social•2 days ago

I used to hang out a couple of nights a week at a country bar in a tiny little town (<400 people) in PA. Overwhelmingly white area but the bar had several Black regulars, and Mexican oil & gas workers who'd play mariachi on the jukebox, plus it was the local gay hotspot.

bajoran-orbison.bsky.social•2 days ago

But there were some hardcore Trumpists too. I used to get into arguments with them but also could sort of compartmentalize that their politics didn't represent everything they were as people.

But then the covid denial, and then Kyle Rittenhouse, and then I couldn't take it anymore.

bajoran-orbison.bsky.social•2 days ago

I stopped going because the necessity of masking made it impossible, but I was also Facebook friends with a number of folks.

On social media it's too easy to just cut someone out for saying something shitty. And sometimes it was genuinely really shitty!

bajoran-orbison.bsky.social•2 days ago

But having cut out probably dozens of people over the years now - Idk, I don't *miss* them, but I feel like cutting them off like that had a psychological effect on me that hasn't been great.

In any case it has not protected my peace, like I thought I was doing.

elliottillustrates.bsky.social•2 days ago

i cut out a family member- and I'm not sad about that - but disturbed that we were raised in the same house and she turned out to be a racist trash-heap. with covid i learned so many folks just don't care at all about others. and all of it broke me a little - now I just keep myself to myself mostly

orchidtreks.bsky.social•2 days ago

the isolation has not been good for me, and Covid supercharged a lot of the disconnection id been feeling since 2016 🫂

bajoran-orbison.bsky.social•2 days ago

I was a regular churchgoer for many years. I couldn't go back to that; I don't have any patience for preaching anymore. But man, there really was something worthwhile about seeing people on a regular basis, even if our relationships didn't go very deep.

rcarterhall.bsky.social•2 days ago

I think I’m in much the same place, and the guilt/frustration at myself for feeling stuck like this just makes things worse.

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