In my queer life, I have found that most "allies" are actually bystanders. They're cheering for you from the sidelines, but they're never going to risk actually joining you on the field. Their support ends as soon as it might affect them.
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At this point, pretty much all my friends are queer, because I hold cishet people to a standard more than an inch off the ground, and when they realize I'm not going to treat them like a hero and reward them for basic decency, they often just bounce.
Yeah, I'm done coddling people that claim to be allies and then stand by when harm comes to the marginalized. I'm not accepting "you have to be nice to us if you want support" allies anymore.
"Ally" is only useful as a verb, not a noun. It must be active, not an identity you wear like a jacket (that can be taken off at any time). If the going gets tough and you get going towards the exit, well, I hope the door DOES hit you on the way out.
An example from my own life is when this guy I was dating noticed he was getting paid more than his female coworkers who had been there longer than him. He told me about this, expecting praise merely for noticing the fact, but instead I asked what he had DONE about it. The answer: nothing.
He said he didn't do anything, that he didn't want to cause a fuss, that he didn't want to risk his own job. He was a bystander. He saw a problem, and did nothing to actually help. That is not what an ally does.
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That’s how we found out that one guy was paid more than any of us and we ALL got a pay raise.